January 2024

I spent about three weeks in a mental hospital in December before Christmas. I did not think it was right to put me away and fought to advocate for myself to get out. I went to a hearing about how long they could hold me there involuntarily. I spoke for myself and answered a court-appointed lawyer’s questions. I do not believe I look slow. I did not prove I was totally normal and do not go around telling the world that I am anyway like some people. 

I listen to soothing nightingale calls and brooks running on youtube these days. I am seeing a therapist that I do not think helps me. I just do not have the freedom to do otherwise. I am talking more with my friend from high school. I am not going back to college. It always was too hard and I believe it systemically made white people look smarter. The high prices at WalMart are not too high for white people. The lack of free public housing is not a problem for white people that do not need that much public assistance. There is more than enough grounds to sue WalMart on the grounds of the Civil Rights Acts of 1964 and 1991 since all their food is left out to spoil and they do not accept the VSP eye insurance many black people can afford. Food with milk, eggs, or sugar like bread and cereal need to be refrigerated. WalMart is where a lot of black people get their groceries because they have lower prices. I hope someone will start a class action lawsuit against some of these organizations that are grossly negligent against minorities that I can join without looking like I have a lot of money when I don’t. 

I never go to my dentist anymore since they put an electric toothbrush in my mouth they plug into the wall with a big power cord. It could electrocute me and the mint toothpaste has a mint candy flavor or sugar in it that can rot your teeth. Somebody should sue them. I am not working but I normally would not have to with free housing so I do not have to give out my personal information to a lot of strangers when job searching. You do not need this information unless I get hired. Job searching has never been safe.

June Events

I have had a difficult month living with my family. I live in a house with an attic on the second floor that does not have air conditioning in it like an attic, a low ceiling like one, and it is not large enough to be called a bonus room. I think those are used as game rooms in larger properties. Many of the houses in this neighborhood are designed this way. It is the same size house that was bought by the owner and lost through bankruptcy in another city. So, it looks crazy in so many ways. We struggle to pay the bills to live here, but it did not make sense to move. We could sell the house before we run out of funds to pay, but it is not on the market. So, it just looks crazy. I guess we really live on government money like someone in publicly funded housing because the owner of this home that I live with did not deserve to retire. 

She only got to a GS 9 ranking, but worked for 30 years. If that looks illegal or crazy, it is no surprise to me. You had to keep moving up in the Army Reserves to continue working for them. When she stopped at GS 9, she should have resigned. It was before she worked for 30 years. She could not use a computer although she was old enough to buy one in the 1980s, and left because they were becoming more of a requirement. I do not know why she worked there that long, but she would not have retired for 30 years. If she gets an income from the government, it is like what I would normally get through public housing. I would not be destitute if she died normally. I could just go to housing, but it is not normal. They would turn me away unless I had a child like I do not need help, but the taxes are so high I could go to a private college or a public one with small class sizes like a private university like the ones at ECU.

I have been dusting today and getting chores done. I need to do spring cleaning. I help by living with the owner of this house in case she falls or has an emergency. She is not alone for hours before getting help. She is elderly. The way my brother is never here and takes water from her really only helps him. It is not normal he lives here when his apartment is so close by and he has another home with his girlfriend in a different city. He keeps an apartment he never stays at, stays here too, and stays in with his girlfriend. He does not really help the owner of this house by always being gone. He's always had a steady job, but he took a long time to stop wearing pull-ups in elementary school. He could not fit in them when he stopped wearing them. I remember, he was still wearing them in second grade. It was not normal. 

I went shopping yesterday at got so many things I needed. The prices are so high at WalMart. It is ridiculous. I do not know how they make a profit with such high prices. Their merchandise is just not worth that much. I just budget and buy less. There are people who do not even go there probably because of their high prices. It used to be low prices always was their slogan. They took those smiley signs down. 

I am trying Idaho scalloped potatoes, collard greens, and ballpark franks. I found some asian dumplings to eat this month. I have two large bags of those that are microwaveable. I add mayonnaise, Worcestershire marinade (this tastes like pulled pork BBQ), and cheese to my franks. I added a lot of milk and butter to boiled water and dry shavings of scalloped potatoes before baking them in the oven. It was a learning experience. It solidified and looked less runny when it was done with baking. I had never made them before although they've always been with boxes of mashed potatoes in the grocery aisle. It was something new to try. 

I tried phyllo pastry from Athens yesterday. I added butter and stevia to make it taste sweeter. It came out great. It only took five minutes to bake in the oven at 350 degrees. I had never tried them before. I had Lilly's grilled cheese burger sandwiches for lunch, and they were grilled with enough butter and oil that it tasted wonderful. I had never had a grilled cheese burger sandwich with ground beef crumbles before. I had 1 Red's Turkey sausage and phyllo pastries for dinner. 

I mixed 3 scrambled eggs with kidney beans, cayenne (red) pepper, black pepper, Kosher salt, and butter. I ate this with oatmeal with cinnamon, butter, and salt, and it tasted so good together. I found out kidney beans prevent absorbing starch by blocking carbohydrates that break down into sugar during absorption in the intestines from https://www.healthline.com/. It is so good for you and preventing diabetes. I added stevia to it, and it tasted really great. They are also a good source of protein. I usually get a large can of Hanover kidney beans to go with different meals during the month, but I had forgotten how healthy they were. I did not have any sausage to go with my oatmeal, but it still was a filling substitution. Although it was a poor man's mean like something Native Americans used to eat to live off the land by taking a bear minimum. 

My mother took the phone of I was using, so I will not be going online as often. I listen to an old boom box radio I bought in 1997 from Seymour Johnson's PX. It works fine still. I never listened. I enjoy classical music on the radio. It has a nice sound quality with my two large speakers. I have things to do. I did a lot of spring cleaning today. There were a lot of vents and areas around the house that I failed to clean last year after a resident of this house died from the Corona-19 Virus. I hit a lot of old vents, a fan in her empty old room, and corners I missed. I finally got stubborn dust off a vent at the bottom of the stairs that I did not know how to remove before. I found an old lamp that I thought was broken and got it to work from the 1990s. It was a touch lamp that gets brighter when you tap it. I tried tapping it in the middle where the base of the lamp is that gives it much of its height, and it came on. I thought it was broken. I had never tried to turn it on that way. I used the top of the lamp and the base, but it was always a touchy lamp. So, I moved it to my room and it works fine. I plugged in an old lamp with a large shade and wood body in a guest room that was on the floor and unplugged. I did a lot of light cleaning. I think the house is better for it. 

I think my mother is sleep walking from complications of epilepsy. I am not sure she woke up when she does not make a lot of sense. So, I live with her right now, and I think it helps out a lot. She says I cannot have any of her water, but she is always telling me how she is way more normal than I am and that is the only thing she buys that I need to eat or drink. I need water. So, there is so much water outside, and I still get some and let her know she can call 911 is she needs me to leave. There is a record that I have to leave then, and I do not have to come back or fear being reported missing when I am not really. I do not think it is normal for her to be retired, say she is more normal, but not let me get 2 bottles of water a day unless she is sleep walking. I tell her I think she is. I did not deserve to have anything taken from me. That phone's unlimited plan has always been way too expensive. I do not need that much data. So, I was glad to use the phone less. I only needed an android phone like a galaxy. It is an old iPhone 8, but it is 4G and does not cause cancer like 5G. You probably could not get any money for it  now. It was used when we got it. I just use it, but I wish she would change the phone plan. The one her friend set up that died of Covid-19 was the most expensive one I know of. She was just using her and spent all \her money on things we did not need.

I have a better plan to use my computer only once or twice a month to take care of limited business online since the blue light from computer screens is not good for eye health. My blue light glasses are like sunglasses that block blue light from TV, phone, and PC screens. They only cost me $25 from HSN two years ago. They have no Rx, but they help me tremendously with eye strain from the blue light that comes out of the screens. So much blue light comes out of them, but you cannot read from it. It lights up a room at night. It is not normal, and does not look like healthy light. 

I thought about Caribou coffee sold at WalMart last night. I heard that Caribou was a night club and a cigarette brand in the 1950s that no one remembers except people who died. Caribou was a cigarette that killed Nat King Cole, and it is the name of a coffee that I think tastes like a poison is in that did not clearly tell you it was one. It was a cigarette that sold at a jazz night club with live music and tables to drink and sit at. There was a smoking and nonsmoking section. You would not drink Caribou coffee. Nat King Cole died because he smoked that kind of cigarette. 

That was a weird thought I had last night. I am not sure it is Nat King Cole's coffee, but I was a little girl and an astronaut from the 1950s. I think that coffee tastes like a poison is in it. It doesn't tell you, but it could kill. I am already dead, but I don't like how much it tastes bad like poison. I drink The Rifle Company coffee, and it is more obvious. It calls some of its drinks Death Wish. It is a traditional poison that doesn't hide itself in the taste of coffee. I drank it last night, and I felt more alert. It's a nicer coffee than a lot of the ones I've tried. They all taste like they have some form of poison in them to me. I have went through Krispy Kreme (a 1950s brand), Seattle's Best, and Caribou. McCafe coffee always has moldy coffee beans that could give you cancer. They are never fresh. I guess there is nothing to drink. But, if you are already dead, you can drink The Rifle Company. They are southern white from Civil War period. They tell it straight. You have a death wish. Nobody is going to mess with you if you drink this coffee and it wakes you up in the morning. They knew how to clean a rifle, how to load it, aim and fire. There's the quick and the dead. They always got a rifle and know how to use it. Nobody uses rifles anymore, but people who fought in the Civil War can get them at WalMart. They can hit you on the head and kill you that way if they run out of bullets. They're a straight shot. It just takes one bullet to kill you. Best stay clear of their private property signs. Ain't no rifle companies now, (only businesses), but there used to be plenty in 1866 and you could get a mean cup of coffee too while you were looking for the right one. Don't they get money know for their Kentucky Fried Chicken made from scratch? Colonel Sanders dresses like he was old enough to fight in the last civil war. I looked at my K-Pod, and I loaded my round into my Keurig machine, but it was weird. It called the K-pod one round. They are real smart about sharp shootin'.

It's a walk on the wild side. 

Black Hole Portal Entrances/Singularities

I watched the Singularity Principle movie for free on Vudu Saturday and learned that parallel universes are just a copy of the original. They would have organic life with anomalies commonly found in clones. The purpose of opening a door at the singularity or center of a black hole is to travel to long distances in your universe at warp speed. A worm hole can take you to a different portal door or exit point that ends at another black hole’s singularity. You could be antimatter that self destructs because it is not supported in a different universe. It’s atomic structure is more or less smart and is different.

This was quite an interesting movie. I have found many good movies to watch on youtube movies, crackle, and Vudu that are free. I never watched Beverly Hills Cop I, II, or III until this week. I watched Domestic Disturbance, The Devil's Mistress, and Hell or High Water. I was surprised. There are a lot of movies I can watch now that I thought were boring as a child. So, I never watched Eddie Murphy's Beverly Hills Cop movies. I can log into AMC (American Movie Channel) with my cable password and watch movies every once and a while. There are a lot of old movies that are free now that I never watched. I found a RTVE channel on youtube that is from Spain. It is a very good news channel in Spanish. They have excellent Spanish. So, I really enjoyed watching it this week after I finally found it. 

The Police do not Help Me

I am looking at faces television for petite black women that look like teenager when they are black. I do not get help from the police. I imagine their bone structure and compare their face to my skull. I just imagine it, but there are girls that look so much like me that I wonder if it was just me. Too identical, and it is a match like a fingerprint. No one else really has my face. Isn’t that interesting? Judith Light looks like me if I had light skin and got old. I haven’t been Jada Pinkett Smith, and I do not know when she dies. She looks like me with light skin. Sade looked even more like me with light skin in the 80’s. 

People who will die after a short life time, whether it is lived normally or time travelled, are always weird to be around. Tomorrow or in a few minutes, they die. They are hard to kill before and after they are dead. You cannot be sure it is so easy to make them work for you or if they just work for themselves because they are creepy. They may have supernatural strength like a 6 foot ape that is homo sapien. My name is Nikki when I am light skinned or Nick if I’m a white guy in the Backstreet Boys. It is hard to be sure all of me is dead. You do not want me to come for you. It looks like I’m not going to stay dead. Nick Carter still looks 25 in an eternal way. He is muscular like a Frankenstein. Is he your stripper by day? He’s a weird frankenstein too. My will has spoken!

Are you going to be the first?

Although I have no phone number or phone of my own, my address and a number from a phone I borrow is listed online and it has been for years. But, you cannot be sure if I am the one using it. I never was paying the bill. I would normally be so unlisted. I never made that much money to retire or collect social security. I looked so much like Ruby Bridges when I was five. She and Lauren Palmer look so much like me down to their eyes, nose, mouth with slight differences that I have if I am only five or if I gained weight. It is not that easy to take everything from someone. You should think before you try. What if you die trying? I should have been dead though. It must not really be that easy. I live across the street from Savannah Place, which has large homes that are so expensive, but my neighborhood is full of foster kids and is down the road from the projects. Is that were they have parties (Savannah Place)? I do not know who lives over there all year. 

Let's be reasonable. It is not smart to believe you will be the first one to do so much wrong to me. Let's think it through like a math problem. Here is what I am thinking: I do not remember everything from the parts of my brain that are asleep and controlling my breathing and heartbeat, but what if I wake up? I look like I will very soon. It looks like this planet is time travelling. I do not believe the Gregorian calendar we use and Jewish people do not either. The number of sun and moonrises are not the same. There are more sunrises. That can put your year way ahead or way behind after a while. After 12 months of being way ahead, are you really behind the real date? The Hebrew calendar says this is 5783. There are times when the sunrises are way ahead of the moon's, and it is actually behind the real year. There are times when the month is actually way ahead of the real year. So, it looks like this planet is time travelling. It moves at a different speed than real time. It travels around the sun way faster than a space shuttle. I look like I am 12 years old, but the calendar says I am 35. So many people look way younger than their age like J Lo and Adam Levine. When do they get old? Maybe they time travelled. 

I am telling you. I have never looked good, but I did not have a disease when I started kindergarten in 1993. I am still alive like I was not on medication. There was not smart medication for sexually transmitted diseases in 1993. I should have died by 2008 when I was 20 if I had HIV and gonorrhea like I looked like. Or, if I had discolored skin like a time traveling dead person I could still make it and never look good that way. I need to look good like Lauren Palmer. I'm just so black. I must have time travelled. I was already Aaliyah, but I have not been in SWV although she looks like me more than Aaliyah if I turned black. What if I woke up and remembered how to turn myself black? It would be harder to kill me than if I was never alive. Is it rational to think you are gonna be the first one? You are probably not the first one who has tried.

Local MD Psychiatrists

I went to see a psychiatrist today. They are not a medical doctor but started the MD program, changed their studies to psychiatry, and claim they are a doctor still, but which one is it? A counselor that did not get a medical degree or a real doctor. They say they will not give you any medical care if you get sick while being hospitalized at a mental hospital, and it looks illegal. So, is the medicine they give good for you? You have to take it, but they do not look willing to help you. They are only willing to hurt you. It really does not sound right. 

I felt unsafe visiting the real MD psychiatrist because he looks like a hoe. I am not sure if people in the yellow pages do what they claim to do or if they do something nothing else that is disguised by their publicized business. 

I wonder if my family is running the bloods and the crips in LA and I was raised so far away in NC and still do not know today. I just walked away from the streets after living there for years. I get money for disability that I do not have. I wanted government housing, but they force me to get SSI Disability although I am not willing to have my reputation painted in a dishonest light. I am not blind or that slow, but I have to get money. It is out of my control. I do not get enough to pay my bills and I think it was run out someday. Is it laundered money from LA? 

I am not sure all of my family is slow. Maybe one of my parents isn’t and is running everything from NC. I think my mom and brother really are slow, but it looks smart. Who is? Am I really safe after living with in LA or am I kept doped up? Something does not look right unless I am a blood. Whoever my family is, they send money through SSI when I never worked. How long do I have to get their drug money? My life is so unusual!

I think the police from LA are just selling drugs, I do not know why you would have a career in police work if you are that well off to live in LA. They never helped me. They drive around all day, but they have indemnity if they are illegal. They are not charged with crimes they commit. They do not look right. They are too smart to be police. I never call the police hear either. I do not think they would help. 

I Decide My Destiny

People who are famous and live in a big house look like they are advertising that they are a hoe. Somebody with rape them and steal and their money, but everyone has to know who they are. I am not sure if the children in foster care are just wanted criminals that escape the system by hiding out that way. It is not safe to live near foster families. You could be wearing a mask and wig that looks so real and being earning your academy award everyday. 

No body really knows what Will Smith looks like. When he gets off the camera, he takes that shit off his face. What if he has an elaborate makeup job like Mrs. Doubtfire? 

Being born into a slow family that misspells their French name and does not know how to pronounce it could be the safest way to go. I never worked, I never earned a lot of money someone would steal. Black people that live in the projects on government assistance in big cities like NY or LA look less like hoes. They don’t got no money of their own to steal. Somebody white who has so much money paid everything, they don’t look attractive or smart, and they do not even know they if they are smart. They ain’t running for office ever going to make their own fortune if that would shoot them straight to the top of a porn star career. They is just struggling in them streets, and they got the best chance of staying free.

I do not think I will live long. I just take one day at a time. No one believes I was homeless, and I do not know why I was homeless for so long. I do not know why they always just drove by me when I should have been killed. Sometimes I wonder what they thought to keep driving by. Maybe it was make a good plot for a book. I wish I knew. I shouldn’t be alive. I slept every night and woke up rested. I only took bird baths and never washed my clothes, but I smelled like I did. I stayed to see miracles. It was so miraculous. I through old clothes that were worn when they had holes, but they sure smelled dry cleaned.

Maybe they were scared of me. I should have been dead and stayed away. 

Fart Gas At Work

The reason white the air looks so clean in the future in the Meet the Robinsons animated movie is that it is clean and white, isolated oxygen. With a rise in oxygen levels, both brain and body systems benefit from increased functional capacities. Just think what you would be capable of if your atmosphere was 100% oxygen and not 80% nitrogen gas. 

Heightened temperatures are sustained by high velocity fart gas and friction with the air gases. This is raise warm fart temperatures to fiery levels. Hot air rises, but do we really want gas that is on fire? This could easily be diagnosed as a fart gas. 

Just consider a NASA team returning to Earth and the friction that sparks fiery combustion on the heat shield. High speed expulsion experienced during fart action can cause fart gases to be on fire. How fast does hot fart air rise above cooler oxygen on the ground? Is it like a rocket? It isn’t oxygen, though. This type of atmospheric activity is probably fart gas action at work.

The Hebrew Calandar

I agree with Hebrew calendar that says this is the seventh month of 5783. I think the Gregorian calendar is inaccurate. There are variations the moon and sun rises. They should be equal. There is tholin life on Pluto. There is a fusion power plant in France. It is a star. They have star power that could be limitless. There are several planets after Mars that are gas giants, which are normally stars. What if we are living on a star that looks like Earth and time flies when it time travels and people are having fun? Children grow up so fast. This is a brand new blue star that looks like Earth if it is a star. It is not hot. They could open a wormhole to a different dimension in Cern, Switzerland and accelerate particles in a Hadron collider to faster than the speed of light. Is this more normal in 2023 or 5783? We are way advanced technologically on our planet that surrounded by stars. It is like we are in a binary solar system with at least two suns. Saturn has the same elements as the Sun (hydrogen and helium), and it is the same color. It normally glows. 

God’s Chosen People

Maybe we are all children of Israel. The Jewish Law and Prophets writings as the Tanakh. The promise to Abraham in the Bible is that he would be the father of many nations: as the stars in the heavens or the sand of the sea shore so numerous shall his seed be according to the promise. The Gospel of a Jewish Messiah complete with the Torah and Tanakh are going around the world via the Bible and various mediums. There were always African Jews: like Noah’s son Ham and the woman in the Song of Songs. She had dark skin that was so darkened by the sun. If black people are Jews, maybe everyone nation could be because they look the most different. Then, every people would be God’s chosen people. 

You will not believe how identical the French, Italians, Spanish and Portuguese people are with Hebrews or middle eastern people. They could be from the Middle East. Are they all Hebrew? You didn’t know I was Hebrew, but I read the Bible in too many translations like a Jew and quote it from Gospel music. You can fulfill Hebrew prophecy by being a Jew from different nation. They are spiritual people and New York accent anywhere. Many Orthodox Jews live in NYC: Is the Italian accent just Jewish? They look so Jewish with light skin and dark brown or black hair. Hebrews believe in a Jewish Messiah prophesied by their prophets (like Isaiah 53). They are messianic Jews like Christians. The whole world is chosen!

Eureka! the Sound of Flatulence

    I still drink three bottles of water or more a day. It makes me feel hydrated and a little extra healthy. Maybe it’s because there is a hydro oxygen in every molecule of H2O. That’s what gets me through fart cloud days. I took one oxygen and no nitrogen with every drop of water. That is the only cure for altitude sickness in the Rocky Mountains. They have clean water that runs cold off the mountains because it was frozen. They got clean tap water that I drink out straight from the kitchen sink. They don’t got no fresh air. If you think about, it smells like a fart. 

    There are many sounds in nature that remind you of a mammalian fart. When I turn on my beats pill speaker, I noticed it sounds like a trip the restroom. I laugh at the sound! People are not that serious in their sleep.

     Like a plant, I breathe in contaminated air and turn the nitrogen dioxide fart gas into carbon dioxide and keep isolated O2. Plants take in human carbon dioxide and give back oxygen that may have been in a NO3 fart layer of gas. They kept the carbon alone. Knock on wood. It helps them build their cambium wood cells.

Fart Science

     Fart: it's a science! I have been exploring fart chemistry and fart gas in our atmosphere that is in abundance and needs to be managed. There is excess nitrogen and other trace gases that were once some kind of fart gas emitted from different organisms. Fart gas may be compressed in large quantities and limited space found in small and large intestines. Eighty percent of the atmosphere is nitrogen that is commonly found in a solid number two state. This number two always creates a smelly odor in the air around it. This is different kinds of fart gas such as NO2 and NO3. It doesn't matter that much how much oxygen is attached to a nitrogen; two or three will do to help the fart gas flow. Flatulence is a medical condition consisting of excess gas. It can be treated by limited consumption of proteins such as beans and cheese. You don't want to cut the cheese too much. Looking up in the air, I wonder if we are gazing on blue nitrogen from farts from the ancient past. Can you wish upon a fart like some do with certain stars at night? Farts have to go somewhere, but it looks like they have been going up for centuries in the air. Heat rises, and farts normally reach high temperatures, have high pressure, and sound-emitting gas properties that allow them to rise above cooler oxygen on the ground. I learned in science classes that humans silently and odorlessly emit gas 24 hours a day and 7 days a week (24/7). I noticed I have a small stream of air flowing from my rectum sometimes. I had to think about it and see, but it is sometimes there just like I learned in school. I did not know it, but I was farting in my sleep. I keep it going for a reason I do not remember consciously. It is hard to do, but I got this in my sleep along with my shallow breathing and heart beat. I breathe shallow breathes and hold my breath a lot unconsciously to limit the inhalation of nitrogen fart gas. It smells a whole lot better after the rain. So, I guess it didn't smell good before.

     Fart gas is all I know. I make excess hemoglobin in my blood like Denosivan, pacific islanders do that allow them to hold their breath on high mountains in Tibet (the Himalayas, underwater, or in the fart atmosphere we know on Earth. I think I am a little Denosivan and that goes a long way to holding my breath without knowing it and not needing a lot of air like the Chinese and Pacific Islander populations with Denisovan and human DNA. It gives me really straight hair. When I straighten my African hair, it gets really straight and is extra shiny. But, I look the most Chinese/Japanese with my shallow breaths that I don't notice most of the time. But, when I do they are shallow. I am not that serious in my sleep. I think it smells like fart gas to me unless it just had a downpour with thunder and lightning to burn the fart gas/number two in the air and washing it with water vapor and ventilated rain.

Star Trek's Strange New Worlds

I subscribed to a cheap Paramount plus subscription on Amazon, and I am watching Strange New Worlds from 2022. It is a Star Trek series. I am enjoying it. There is something weird going on my EBT account. They have added money twice this month, and I did not have the money they said I had last month. It is like someone is stealing their money. I listen to the radio from Suzhou, China and Tokyo, Japan at night sometimes. They have opera and classical music on Simple Radio that is free. They have nice sound quality and music that is not too sexual that I do not want to listen to it. It is good for ballroom dancing or weddings. I found Bolly DJ mixes too that were from India. They have great dance music for parties. I had not looked that up before. If you do a better search query, more results come up. That is what I keep finding. I watch television on PBS like Nova and what is available for free for state residents. I had never watched the Marriage of Figaro or Madame Butterfly before the last few years although they were famous. I am glad that are available to watch on social media for anyone who is interested now. I also started watching videos of sickle cell anemia, hemophilia, gene therapy for IVF treatment, and molecular biology yesterday. They have a cure for sickle cell anemia they did not have when I was a child. You could get a bone marrow transplant or gene therapy today, but it used to be a death sentence by one's thirties. So many medical advancements are being made. I found a lecture from Stanford on DNA helix built from amino acids, nucleotides and other proteins. They have a lot of free lectures from Ivy League colleges available online for personal enrichment/study.

This Winter

Although I did not graduate from ECU, I have found many things to amuse myself that I never explored before. I did not pass all my classes, and I did not think I ever would pass my cost scheduling II class. I think I could get a job anyway, but I have decided to take a break from working. I do not like college or working really. I have found so many good movies to watch online. I have been watching movies like the Season of the Witch, Nightmare Alley, and more shows that were added to Season 1 of Picard. I watch tennis matches that I missed from the 2010s with Sharapova as well as Olympic springboard diving. I found old videos with water polo, a radio in Milan that plays dance, another that plays Hip Hop R n B, and Virgin Italy. It is on Simple Radio for free online. They have good radio stations there. I have explored fashion week in Milan and Prada that I never looked up before online. I heard about it as a teenager, but they did not have all the apps they have today to watch videos like they did after 2006. I like pin-striped Prada and Armani clothes. You watch their fashion shows from years ago if you never saw them back then for free now. I watched the Marriage of Figaro online for free. I think wealthy patrons paid for them to be free. There are many famous arias in it. I really enjoyed watching it. I listen to Sophocles' Antigone, Shakespeare's As You Like It, King Lear, King Richard III, and A Midsummer Night's Dream. There are so many books to listen to online now that I never read. I am glad I did not read them. It is easier to listen to them. I listened to Bushido: the Way of the Warrior Samurai Code, P.T. Barnum's The Art of Money Getting, some of Homer's Odyssey, and Aesop's Fables. I have never read anything by Aristotle. Maybe I will find some of his writings to listen to soon. 

Fall Exams

I turned in my video and finished my last exam. I am relieved that is over. I think I passed all but one class, but I do not think I will ever pass that one. So, I probably will not be back next semester. It seems like the wrong answer is right, you have to read their mind, and they think you cheated if you did pass. I do not have the time or money to waste on something that will never be. Anyway, I was thinking: I am not sure what to do about taxes if I were to come into a large settlement from lawsuits. So, I will not be suing anyone right away. I do not want to pay that many taxes. They are so large like in a communist country. Inflation is ridiculous here  too. You do not have to have any. In the 1990s, Clinton's administration had a surplus instead of a deficit. Congress is crooked about all the runaway inflation and taxes. So, I think there are loopholes in the system where you could pay reasonable taxes on money you receive. I heard about this one loophole from Shawshank Redemption: you need to leave your money to your spouse and you keep more of it. It is so crazy that there may be enough people to sue to retire early. I do not think I would ever be able to keep a job with how it is crazy here. I think that it is fair if I do retire early since I would have had a nice job. I speak Spanish and do construction. I write hit songs and books that could be made into movies. I have been so desperate to make a living for myself the last few years. None of them have worked. I need to do something before they electrocute me at the dentist. They've got such a thick power cord on their toothbrush. I imagine them needing elbow grease to shove that into the wall socket. It is so crazy here. 

Fall Exams

 

I have been working on my two presentations this week. I have notes I am studying for a marketing video and an equipment presentation. I also have an exam on Monday and Tuesday. So, I will be preparing accordingly for those. It has been a crazy semester. I thought I would be graduating when I started it because I already passed the hardest class in this program, but you never know. So, I do not plan to return next semester. I will be finalizing everything so that my chapter at this university is closed. I do not plan to join a lawsuit against them unless someone else starts a class action lawsuit. I do not think I would win because it is crazy here. I have been thinking: there is so much to be grateful for this year. I have watched so many great movies. I looked over my history online and remember great films such as The Prestige, A Good Day to Die Hard, and more. I am not going to the graduation because you have to be invited. I do not think that is normal though. All students should be allowed to attend. Also, it is not normal how hard it is to get credit approved for an apartment. That is probably a civil rights act violation like doctors who do not accept most insurance. If you have a civil rights violation, you can get a legal services from the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission (EEOC). I almost cannot get glasses in this area. They give me the wrong prescription and almost do not fix the issue. They make it so easy to stop rendering services for things like cancelling appointments. I cannot go to most vision clinics here after cancelling at one, but are they legal? We will see what the future holds. Presently, there are so many people to sue that I think I could win a settlement in at least one case.

My December So Far

I do not think the major I am in is normal. You should not have to take every class they offer to graduate. What does that say about this program? Well, I got through some tests today. I did not do as well as I normally do for my equipment management test, but I was satisfied. It has been a good week for me. I am not that pressured to get exams done. Normally, I do not enjoy Christmas because I have so many stressful exams to take. Usually, I would have already graduated if all the classes from this major were not required like usual. They could make them electives because they are not directly related to the major. It has been a crazy year. I have been watching good channels on social media and finding good movies to watch. I made a Christmas list. I went shopping for groceries this weekend. 

The electric toothbrush they have always used for my cleanings with a thick power cord doesn’t look safe. They squirt water into my mouth. I just realized that the other day. Maybe they need to put a warning on the box about rinsing battery powered toothbrushes after you turn them off to prevent electrocution. Water conducts electricity. Does water floss your teeth when food is really stuck? I don’t believe the claims of water flossers/toothbrushes. It is so crazy here. I am telling you. And doctors who selectively accept Insurance shouldn’t have a practice. It doesn’t matter which insurance you have as long as they get paid. How is it legal to not accept most or all insurances. I’m sure they’re capable of getting their money. Sounds like a discrimination issue. If they are not willing to serve the entire community, they are illegal. When have you ever found a hair dryer that wasn’t extremely dangerous near water? Should they be on the market if they are for drying wet hair?

What's Next for Me

Today, I found out I am not passing Cost and Scheduling for sure. That will help me not return next semester. I am not smart enough about her class to pass it. It is not about scheduling. It is about following her instructions exactly and mindreading. (What I think about that: every project is different. What good is following her instructions so close? No one is going to tell you what to do in the real world. So, I will never be good enough, but it does not matter. That is my honest opinion). So, not being smart enough, not having enough money to repeat the class if I probably will still not pass, and the major not being worth much to employers or how I could get a job all give me leverage to leave. It is not my fault. I would pass if it was a construction management major. I think about becoming an apprentice or getting paid training. I could get a job with what I know. I have a good foundation. These classes are more and more a waste of my time. I am not learning anything I could use as a construction manager. I think I have went as far as is useful. They are not going to teach estimating or scheduling if they haven't by the first semester of my senior year. The capstone is for a graduate project management degree. They do not need two classes for estimating if they are willing to teach it. I should not have to figure out on my own what they could share in person. 

I figured some cool stuff out this week. Since many professors say RS Means is not reliable, I thought I should look up local prices for equipment and materials since that is the cheapest way to go. Staying local keeps shipping prices low. Also, the prices are reliable. RS Means is an average at best that normally is only useful for ballpark estimates and ordering out of the local area. Every supplier has a different price that changes with the market. Averages are not reliable for this. So, I thought that was something I could really use. I could really get a good estimate that way. They are never going to teach it in this program. Looking up prices for estimates is like shopping for groceries. You're looking for the best deal. It is not rocket science. It is important you are not crazy enough to see that to be smart in construction management. I am not that smart. Construction management is easy. Unit price contracts do not have accurate estimates. Customers pay for every unit that is actually used. So, you do not know the full cost until the end of construction. Customers need to come prepared with plenty of financial backing to cover expenses.

I do not believe in retainage. This is capitalism. I work when I am paid. That does not sound like a legal contract and may not be valid. I only build what you paid me for. I learn ways to make sure I am paid, how to make out a schedule of values (or bill), and how to write the contract so that I am paid on time. If they don't pay, they can't live in the building. You can put a lien on their mortgage to make sure you get paid. They have all this bad advice they give in class about getting loans for client's buildings. Are you the one working or living there? You don't have to pay for their house! This ain't charity. You gotta be careful because they could never pay you if you do not know what you are doing. From the books I read and professors I had here, there are a lot of people who don't. Architects' estimates are usually not right and their drawings may not be up to code or complete. A lot of construction professionals do not build what they drew. I do not know why they have a job if they never draw things right and cost so much money. It is crazy here. A lot of subcontractors do not know anything about bookkeeping and make bad financial decisions. You need to know how to run your own business in construction. You are working with a lot of money, usually a mortgage, and you could want to keep it organized in an accounting system so that you never become legally liable. You need to know about contracts and laws that protect you. You need to know how to look over you books to make sure no one is stealing your money because it is a lot of money. 

I enjoyed my internship in Colorado. I learned a lot there. I got an American Red Cross CPR certification that is still good. I was good at the class. I was surprised. I could use that in construction. So, I do not know what is next for me. However, I am not passing all of my classes already. I do not think it reflects my intelligence. But, I do know it is crazy here. I do not know what is next for me yet. 

Blade Runner 2049

There is another movie that I found that repeating the same idea about all the humans dying in the future from some kind of nuclear bomb. The only hope that is left are clones that are trying to have children like humans. I got this idea from Blade Runner with Harrison Ford, Blade Runner 2049, Divergent, Insurgent, and Allegiant with Amy Adams, and The 6th Day with Arnold Schwarzenegger. I have been watching Blade Runner and Blade Runner 2049 this evening. Clones are evil they look so much like special humans but find out they are not special at all. It is not right to clone people. They call them replicants in Blade Runner. That means a copy. Who wants to be a copy? It is not right to make people who aren't special and use them like they are expendable. They would not want to be created. It is a waste land in Blade Runner 2049. The tree in the movie is dead. Everything green is dead. It is like something radioactive decimated everything in seconds. I am trying to figure this out. 

They turn out to all be clones in the Divergent series. Only few people are special enough to have all the personality traits in Divergent like dauntless, candor, erudite, etc. That is what they think is special and human. They are jealous of you if you are divergent and do not fit into any of the personality groups. There would be a war. They live closed off from the world in a walled city. The outside has been destroyed and has high radiation levels. Divergent people are more special than the others. These clone people from the future do not sound good. The aliens, clones, and A.I. may not be good if they turned smarter.

I do not think any humans are alive after a certain year on Earth. The humans who remain are not really on Earth. It is on another planet no matter how much like Earth it looks. Humans are in the Rapture or killed during the Tribulation period by a certain date. Then, there are only clones on Earth. Further in the future, like in The Peripheral, human minds may be living there that people from the future think are polts or poltergeists. They think you are already dead and are a ghost. They are evil, but they may kill you because you are crazy dead and it could help you. The polts are in shock and do not remember they died. If you died, you could be crazy in the future after 2030. Your body could have become a clone that is like a robot and think it lives on like in Blade Runner 2049 and The 6th Day. But, I think you must have died if you are from Earth and eventually will go to Heaven. Heaven in the Bible is on Earth. In the future, the New Jerusalem comes down to Earth. Whereever you live, your Heaven is on Earth. You could have also left in the Rapture. The tribulation lasts 7 years after the Rapture. 

Ken Peters

There is a video on youtube with Ken Peters that shows what he thinks is the 666 Mark of the Beast at this url: Ken Peters Vision of the Tribulation and the MARK of the Beast 666 - YouTube at 43:41 minutes. It is important to see it because it does not look like 666. This is a video from the early 2000s. He is a prophet. It has three hands on it that are the handprint of a human. If you have the whole hand, it is a human. The number of fallen man from the Bible is 6. There are three hands. One is a spirit that looks like it is on fire (like in Hell), one is upside down, and one is a hand inside that one that is smaller. It looks like a mind in a body. The antichrist is evil if he is real. He is not going to tell you it is the mark of the beast, but it will be like in the Bible. You will not be able to buy or sell without this mark. It looks like America does not go to the future, but there was a video made in the early 2000s warning about the Mark. It is now available on youtube. If you ever see this mark, maybe you will think twice about taking it.

If you are Christian, you have heard about this mark in church and are not willing to take anything that sounds like the mark. You are not willing to get a computer chip in your hand to help you buy or sell. That is one example of what they have to today that sounds more and more like the mark. They have all the technology they need to give the mark and there are communist governments that would always take over the world. Marxists want to dominate the world. Everything is set up for a one-world, communist government like the Bible predicts in the last days. They all use the same currency in Europe like they are one country (the Euro), and they plan to initiate the Great Reset by 2030 that changes all governments to socialist ones. 

Another common theme I hear in movies is about evil aliens that are body snatchers and evil AI that kill all the humans and side with the aliens. I do not think they were good. This fear of AI becoming too smart and taking over is repeated over and over. Elon Musk warns about developing AI at Google. They are not sure they are good. 

God is good. He almost lets communists take over the world, but America almost is not Christian. It is so evil here with rampant shootings. They even have them in elementary schools now. There was legal abortion for decades, and it is more unsafe to live in America than any other generation. Maybe we should be taken over. If you do not repent, you could be. There has been a rally of Christians in the last few years. We overturned Roe vs. Wade. We are friends with Israel and recognized Jerusalem as the rightful place for the U.S. Embassy instead of Tel Aviv. 

It is runaway evil all over the world outside of Europe and North America. It is so illegal if you go to Mexico. You could sell so many drugs and get away with it totally. The police are corrupt. People are so poor in Africa, but they live near gold and diamond mines. Someone has stolen everything from them and become their dictator. I look at Russia: hasn't someone killed Putin? They are not happy with him being their president still. It is like no one can kill him. He looks so dangerous as their leader. They are not happy in Russia or China with their governments. These men are not normal. Everyone wants them dead, but they live on. They will never be free under communism. 

I believe aliens look like giant ants. The pictures they show of little, green men are the size of bugs. They have no white in their eyes like bugs. Maybe that is how they look. This image is repeated over and over. In the future, or in the past on their planet, they evolved like the apes. Eventually, all animals could evolve like a human and stand up on their feet. You cannot be sure you are human because you walk. They have larger brains than humans like Neanderthals. They take longer to mature. They are stocky and white like Europeans. There are many people with Neanderthal DNA, but I am not sure they are from Earth. People who are the most human genetically are black and African. 

Although you may look like a bear, you cannot be sure why you do. Pandas look like bears, but they are more closely related to racoons. I think this is the case with Russians and Chinese people. They look human, but are they closer to Neanderthals aliens and dolphins? The Denisovan was a mermaid. They can hold their breath with their increased levels of hemoglobin in their blood. This is useful when there is not much oxygen. Underwater or at the tops of large mountains like in Japan, Nepal, and China. They are close to the water still like a mermaid and do not need oxygen. A full blooded Denosivan could live underwater like a dolphin. They are still closer to the dolphin than a chimp, but that does not sound human. We are closely related to apes and considered part of the ape family being Homo Sapien. 

I found this out from being Christian. I have always been very religious. Sometimes, I think God gives me smart ideas. There are unusual things around you that you could notice that were always there. God is protecting America. The Muslims around Israel that would destroy her would always attack here. They say death to America in their videos. They are not friends with Israel or God. It is evil to follow Allah. He keeps them in fear and Jihad is not holy war. God protects you. They have so many missiles they would always fire. Maybe they should though if you are evil like them. They were evil with September 11th. One key to America's success is its prosperity. They attacked the New York Stock exchange. They are evil to destroy America. There was no mistake. The center of trade in New York was an evil target.

I do not think they know they are alien in Russia or China. The people are stay poor and are dominated by dictators probably do not want to live there. They would replace their governments with democracies like in America. They keep their ruler rich. The cannot leave. As long as they live there, all their money goes to the government.