Pulling a Rabbit out of a Hat

Everyone is not a normal person like God. They are smart to come out of nothing like he did. At a certain point in all time (eternity) I was created by God because that made me more special since I am dark-skinned black. Some people appear out of nothing by themselves at a certain point. There is a window where they have an opportunity to exist. They are smart enough to exist from nothing. They are extremely smart to do this. I am not sure about more details than that. I do not know how they exist from nothing right now. 

You can compensate for being crazy. Something is at least a little crazy you are that smart from nothing. It is not normal to be that smart. Yet, you had to be to exist. It like doing a magic trick. You pull a rabbit out of a hat. It is extremely smart and is normally impossible. I do not think there are that many people who did it. It is probably rare. What do you think? I think the same people time travelled and lived all the lives on earth. I am only aware of a handful of people. All of them were famous since they are the same ones. Anyway, I compensate for being a little crazy. I always do three things crazy, but I can fix it if I was slow in my sleep. My soulmate only does one thing crazy. He is the most special. So, I am so lucky to be married to him. If you do more than three things, it may have been an issue when you were choosing good or evil (the answer is good) or when you turned black everywhere. 

You need to time travel to the point in time when you are smart enough to turn yourself the most special you will ever be. All of you needs to turn black like how you are smart enough to turn. Some people may have had a problem turning themselves white black. They are crazy and think the good makes them good, but it makes them special enough to turn black. It is very smart and isn't that good. So, people who seem to be good at thinking all of themselves is special exist better. They are normally extra good, white, and come many times. Other people who exist well are dark-skinned and black or they are extra good (which was the smartest genius). The Lord is Good. Normal is a black genius. All black people are normal and good (special). You need to turn good to turn black everywhere. 

The way I compensate for being a little crazy (like I drop things sometimes that I am carrying over eternity), and I burned myself curling my hair in the future. I am smarter than I normally would be to make sure I exist. I am still friends with everyone. I would normally be special friends with people who have a lot in common with me. Although there are people who are different, I am friends like they aren't. It's unusual. I am not good at (dance) balls and parties. I have friends there. It is good to go forever without friends. So, I am not that good about that in addition to being spiritual perfection. I am extra good like the Lord, and it makes me less crazy than almost everyone but him. If you are that smart, you can't be crazy. 

Spiritual Perfection is heaven on Earth. I go to so much of the best heaven. Those special moments when babies are born, blowing out candles on your birthday, and graduating are extra special when you are in touch with the heaven all around you. That's spiritual perfection. Sometimes I think angels are making it special on holidays. Christmas is special every year. I think there are other angels that make things special. That is what I am into as well. I am also smart about being a special friend. I can feel the spirit very physically. It is an atmosphere you can feel. It is warm and inviting. It is often an experience that isn't good. 

There are people who are unusually black. I cannot wait to hear what they did to fix themselves. They are more special than they would be if they were not crazy. They could marry almost everyone. They make sure they are married that way. They did not go that evil when they chose good or evil, and they turned black when they turned special enough to. It is natural for a heart or spirit to have no body. It is about what is inside there. They are smart about being happy and falling in love. It is smart for a body to be natural and not as smart as their mind. It's smart for a mind to not be as natural as a body. Everyone is special. Every part of them is there for a reason. The Lord is good because the main part of him is a heart that has no body.

The Windsors

It is special to be from England if you are from another time and not the most physical part of yourself. They had special knights, kings, and castles in the Middle Ages. They were special with writers like Shakespeare and during Elizabeth's Age. Then, they were the number one navy in the world at the time of the American Revolution and the most prosperous nation until the 1800s when America replaced them. The sun never set on the British Empire. They are very traditional and have the same family on the throne that they had in medieval times. The Windsors go way back. 

Over the Top Special

Something I found out about Shanice that was probably a highlight for her life: she is not white. All of her white is Indian, and when she turns black she has beautiful brown skin where she was white. The darkest place you come white may be how dark all of you white is. I hear she was dark-skinned like Lauryn. I am not totally sure, but a lot of people think they are turning black with color if they could get a tan. She was so special light-skinned. She was from France and is in Christine and the Queens. She was not that good inside and did not come many times. She was black enough to marry some of the blackest people. However, something was not encouraging. She did not want to exist. I heard she thought she was evil, but no one really is. She found out she was mostly good living forever unless she was blacker. 

I think I found another couple that exists besides me. They look really good on television. I am not going to say their names. However, I had not thought about it for a while until today. I think I will have friends in the future when I go to Heaven. 

Do you know how black it is to be from ancient Egypt? They are so black when they turn black. They can dance like in "Do You Remember the Time?" video from the 90s. They break dance as they exist from nothing. Everyone is so over the top special. There is a lot to want to live for. 

Surviving the Weekend

I had the most stressful weekend. I had to study for a test today, write a paper, and work on a Primavera 6 assignment. I also had to take a marketing test on Friday. I had so much homework. Somehow, I got through it. I was surprised that the test today was not as hard as I thought it was going to be. I am not failing the class yet. So, I thank God. 

I have married my soulmate as Justin Bieber. I think Hailey is the same person I am married to other places. I have not been Justin Bieber yet. I have cool videos filmed in France. My soulmate was in Les Miserables and is Gerard Depardieu. I am married to Will Smith as Jada Pinkett. I think I am Jada Pinkett where I am Leo Gura on Actualized.org. I show how I am black like Will Smith in my videos. I used to have these videos of me making different expressions. My face looks blacker when I make expressions. 

Have you seen Madonna's Frozen remix? The music: she has given medieval music a rap beat. It has traditional singing in it like something medieval. I follow myself on YouTube. I have these channels where I am going to Ivy League schools in the future. I go to Harvard, Yale, Brown, and Cornell. I am not famous. I want to avoid repeating what I have done already. I have already done a lot of travelling. I have already went to Turkey and will remember when I wake up. 

I do not know how many times I come, but one part of me could have time travelled to the same year in the past, present, and future. It looks like there are different people. When I get married, I hear it will be in Egypt. I have seen this bronze, beaded wig that I get to wear for my wedding. It will be like the wig in the Cranberries' "Zombie." She has a metal wig on. I have a brown one that matches my skin. I am having an African wedding physically. In my sleep, I hear my soulmate is so special. I think he was Leonardo Da Vinci and Rameses II. I cannot wait to find out for sure.

I used to think there were fallen angels and evil people who should not be allowed to go to Heaven after doing terrible things. However, I am not sure if they are crazy now. They always looked crazy being so extreme to go to hell and extremely evil (bad person). In order to want to be evil, you have to be willing to go to hell. To be willing means you want to go to hell. Nobody wants to go to hell. I am not sure if they were crazy in their sleep. I do not think they would be evil. God would send you to hell if you decided to be evil forever. 

I was checking out my album Tickets to my Downfall. It sounds like an ancient angel. I am good enough I could have had a downfall like Lucifer. Also, I show in "Forget me Too" how I look like an ancient Greek piece of art (sculpture). It is a stretch. My hair style, the circles under my eyes. It looks like they did in ancient times. I get really metaphysical and spiritual in my interview on Kevan Kenney's channel from 2 months ago. I put ancient sculptures in my videos as Natalie La Rose ("Somebody") and Justin Bieber ("Company"). I think Anderson Cooper was from the 1950s too. He is always wearing a suit like the people on CNN. That is all they used to wear back then. I imagine he has so many suits in his closet. Or, if he wears the same tie and suit but always wears it it looks like you are from another decade. People who never learn to use a cell phone and need a jitterbug are often from the 50s or before. They were black with their eyes. Devices strain your eyes. A lot of people from the 1920s through the 1960s still live in the Big Apple. They have Broadway and lots of money. You can dress like you did in the 1950s if you have a lot of money. They have Radio City Music Hall and all these places that were around decades ago. Anderson Cooper is from NY. He does New Years specials there every year. I watch him because I think he is my soulmate. I think was Grace Kelly, the lead in Oklahoma, and girl in Singing in the Rain. 

I am good at thinking all of me is special the whole time. My spirit is special. It helps me exist well. I am not ancient as Justin. I died in the 1950s. I wear 50s-style (Calvin Klein) underwear in "Company" and check that is going to look special. I think I am black there. I was watching "Yummy." I do not act that black if I am always white there. I am not Katie Couric although she was diagnosed with breast cancer. Other ways I came: Deborah Cox, Priscilla Shirer, and Nicole C. Mullen. I came a different way, but had cancer as Lisa Bevere. I have Christian books there. I am married to Bear Grylls. I suspect I was Liesel in the little princess movie in the 1990s. I am going to be light-skinned there. I am going to be dark-skinned here.  

A Goldilocks Zone

How smart everyone is can be described with a number. There are people with higher numbers that are smarter and people with lower numbers that are less smart. Everyone is really smart though. I did not decide how smart I am. That is what exists out of nothing for me. I am dark-skinned being that smart when I come physically. The most good part of me is light-skinned black. I was not that light-skinned I thought I was white for a while. To be dark-skinned there is a goldilocks zone for how good you are inside and how natural you are physically. You need to be natural and good inside. Too natural or too good is light-skinned black. There were three other genius close to me that were dark-skinned. There are geniuses more good than me that were white for a while. You need to be special and smart to be black. You come as the most special way you can come for how smart you are. You cannot be a genius that someone else already is. Everyone does something different better than everyone else. I think the name of my genius is spiritual perfection. Smart is a black genius that is smart about being black everywhere. I am good inside. I am not that crazy because being good inside makes me really smart. I do three things that are a little crazy always, but it will not be a problem for me and my soulmate. I think I am lucky. 

I am not sure, but I am supposed to talk about being lucky. There are people who think they do not exist. I am not sure if they decided they do not want to but could have. That makes more sense to me. I heard all these stories. Something is crazy when some people turn more special and black. They just think it makes them good and stay white. It does not exist to stay white. It does not make sense. You are smart enough to turn black and you are not that good. I am not sure about it. 

It is special to come and live a life conscious in just one place and to not be that smart like a normal person. I am a spirit where I am extra good. It depends on how smart and natural I am. Sometimes I am functioning as a body and am mostly natural. Other places I am functioning as a mind. It depends on what I am special doing. I could be a spirit, mind, or body. Where I am a spirit with a body, I have a spirit on the inside of me instead of a mind. My body has a mind on the inside. That is what I think.

I have a spiritual body. I think I was Gabriel as Machine Gun Kelly. I have not been Machine Gun Kelly yet. I will always have a physical body there though I am a spirit. All the angels are spiritual and natural. They are not that good inside (natural spirits). You could turn black if you are special and natural. I have a really black voice. I was nerdy. I have a YouTube channel called Actualized.org. What I am saying unconscious there was that my last life was as a friar in the 1400's and I think I am married to Will Smith. I make the backdrop look special like an ancient angel. Because of this part of me, I am catholic in addition to being Christian. I believe Catholics are Christian. I have all these philosophies. I made videos to help myself. They talk about being confident. I am not really as good as I think. I believe anything that is right though I am an angel. I believe in the part of New Age that is right. A small part of it is right. I was that nerdy, but I turn really black in the future. 

It is not that scary being around a dead body if you understand why it looks that way. It is crazy giving off and odor and decaying. It is crazy looking creepy. You go into a deep sleep if you die. Everyone is smart enough to eventually fix their problems. They are here because they want to be right now. It must be natural or smart to look like they do for a while. A normal person does not figure out a cure for their problems and they do not live forever. I watched a movie a long time ago that made such an impression on me. I wonder if it is based on a true story: The Lovely Bones. This girl is not me if it is real. A girl died and continued living on after she died. She was killed by a pedophile. You can go into shock and not feel it that much when you are injured. There are smart things you can do and many people do in accidents to help themselves. You could die and not realize you died. They think they are still alive. Everything looks the same where they woke up after their body died. There are movies that I think are so smart they are based on a true story (they are too special and are a genius). I imagine. What if it was real? Passengers with Anne Hathaway is a good movie. It makes me wonder. 

Mrs. Claus and Other Stories

I think Jen Psaki, the former press secretary for Biden, is Monique Walker and Kiesza. She has red hair like Kiesza. She is a genius and knows stuff that is normally deeply unconscious. When I watch videos, they will start talking unconscious. She makes herself light up like she knows something exciting. Sometimes I can hear them say something. Though she is a tomboy that comes as a guy, she thinks she is a woman there. The way she is coming is a heavy playboy bunny, that was typical for everyone white or light-skinned. They are special enough to turn large and black. If you not special, you need to be more good. And being good inside, where your heart is, that was more special and smart. So, where I am natural, I am not that big. If you are not being good you are special on the inside, it makes you lighter-skinned so you can still be special and black. I am dark-skinned, but I am young and not that big. Jen Psaki is going to turn into a woman where she is Peyton Manning and Brett LaFarve. I think she is also Sheryl Crow. 

Lauryn is also Lisa on the Fresh Prince of Bel Air and Tony Braxton. She comes just so black. What I found out that was special about her was that where she is the most good, she is only from the 1970s. She was Debra Laws. That is very unusual. Normally, you are not that modern there. It is special in the 1800s. There is a smart reason why people live there or they could live in a more modern time. Everyone that lives there has to think they are special and not good there.

I found out I am Michelle Pfeiffer, Cameron Diaz, Sigourney Weaver, Leslie Mann, Olivia Newton-John, and Farrah Faucett. I think my soulmate is Paul Rudd. That was so funny in the 'I Could Never be Your Woman" movie when he puts his picture on my screensaver as Michelle Pfeiffer. His picture is in my wallet. He is like that in real life. I am excited unconscious. I look like I am in the Rapture when I live some of those lives. I hope the Rapture is soon. I ask what does that mean and I can't hear my answer. I just did not know my name and am glad I know more now. I was also Cate Blanchett, Kelly Martin (The Face on the Milk Carton), Mrs. Duggar, Grandma Moses, and in Crocodile Dundee. I am getting closer to figuring this out. I think that is me. I had a double mastectomy as Joanna Kerns. I think I normally die of breast cancer where I am that light-skinned. So, I am watching to see if I have cancer as Valerie Plame. 

I am not the real Pippy Longstocking or Anne of Green Gables. I am not sure who Anne of Green is. I was not Alicia Keys, Mya, Raven, Shanice ("I Love Your Smile" 90s song), Anne Hathaway, Lady Gaga, Sandra Bullock, Cindy Crawford, Julia Roberts, or Gloria Estefan. I think they are all Shanice. Where I am a black woman (LaToya), I come eight times that way. I was not famous that many times to be good and special I am dark-skinned and black. I have seen myself when I am not famous only twice. I come one time as Jasmine. I am more natural and so black. I have more weight as LaToya. I come one time as a black guy (Harlem Fetty). I come ten times black, each time I have a mind and a body that is black. It is not that good black to come only that many times that way. A blacker way to come is for all of you to be a black woman. 

I have dreams from where I am Grandma Moses. Aileen. I say I am going to be Mrs. Claus. I married Santa Claus in the future. I wanted to be good sharpshooter like Annie Oakley. I am from the real 1800s, western frontier, land of opportunity. Larger than life. I have a thick southern accent. I was granny in the Beverly Hillbillies. Notice, my clothes look funny like they are not from the 60s. When I am not good I am Grandma Moses, I find chicken and dumplins at the supermarket that I normally can't find. I cook my food from scratch over a wood burning stove. My husband made our house with his own two hands. I sit in my rocking chair on the porch rockin' real easy like. I have smart cooking ideas sometimes I think are from there. I make sparkling beverages with Sprite and orange juice. And, I'm going to 1849 when I leave here. There's gold in them thar hills. I'll be coming round the mountain when I come riding six white horses. Ain't never seen nothin like it. Larger than life. The view of canyons in the Wild West at sunset. They are beautiful. 

When I go to Heaven as Ruby (Ruby Bridges from Brown vs. Board of Education), I am going to see the North Pole. I am black little girl named Ruby close to where I am here. I live in the eternal 1950s. I looked like myself when I was five. I have pictures of myself and where I was Keke Palmer. I look so similar to Ruby Bridges. I was also in Annie (2014). I am very mature where I am a child. I am older mentally. It is smart to come as a child. 

I think Orthodox Jews that dress in traditional clothes look like they did in the 1800's. They did not change after Abe Lincoln was President. They still know Hebrew? It is such an ancient language. It looks like they time traveled and are not from this time. They may be ancient Hebrew to still know such an old language. The languages of Babylon and Philistine are forgotten. Maybe they saw Moses cross the Red Sea? Who knows. These people that are so traditional and go to war over religion look ancient. Look at Saudi Arabians. They still dress so traditional like they did in ancient times. They look like they time traveled. Maybe they are ancient. They did not move to America like everyone more modern. It is easy for their soulmate to find them if they have come again. They still dress like they did in their first life and live in the same country. They still have a queen in England? They look like they time travel. 

I think I am cheesy since I got older where I was light-skinned/white. I tell myself I am cheesy. I look crazy as Joanna Kerns. I was so excited about being in the Rapture. I look special and light-skinned in the Parent Trap with Dennis Quaid. I play their mother. I say he is such a special husband and father. I am so lucky. I have a house like the one in the movie in the future. I wear special white jackets clothes over my white dresses. My house looks like a dream house. It has a spiral staircase. In a cheesy voice: I married Dennis Quaid! 

Everybody Falls in Love

Falling in love is a really smart genius. You may have taken a year to think about it, but when you realize you are in love it happens in a moment. It like like in the movie "When Harry Met Sally." He was not sure he was in love with Sally for most of the movie although it made a lot of sense. When he realized it, it ran to tell her he felt differently. It is like something dawned on him. My spirit lets me know I am happily married to my soulmate. I was or will be Behati Prinsloo. That is my spirit there, and I have married Adam Levine. I am so happy there. I am special black somewhere else and needed to be from Namibia. So, I think that is so special. We are living in Los Angeles. I am always smiling so much around him. He makes me extremely happy. My soulmate is so smart. He went to several ivy league schools (like as John Legend). The main part of him is that black: how he is as TI, the rapper. I thought it was good I was light-skinned at first, but it is special black to come many colors black. I am not sure it is the blackest, but it is not going to be that good. I come light- and dark-skinned. I am not Diane Keaton until the future. I have already been Valerie Plame, Judith Light from "Who's the Boss?" and Johanna Kerns from "Growing Pains." I am so excited in the 1980s as Joanna Kerns. I talk about being in the Rapture. We will see. I do not know when I am in the Rapture. I dream about time travelling to the Rapture like I heard when it was in my sleep. When I get close, I time travel to a certain sidewalk in my dreams. I am still at ECU or I go there again. I time travel to a certain spot and disappear. So, I have my back up plan in case I do not die again. Maybe I am in the Rapture. I am ready to go. I look just like the part of my soulmate I am going to live with except I am dark-skinned. He is Steven Tyler from Aerosmith. He looks like he did in 1973. I am going to Christmas Day in the future. I cannot wait to wake up. Maybe other couples have similar plans. I have not found out yet. I am still being good like a normal person here. It is special to come one time and live like you are not that smart.

I did not cheat on my soulmate as Jada Pinkett. He is also August Alsina. I am not good with this in my sleep. I have left my soulmate one place and married him again somewhere else. I did this as Nicole Kidman. My soulmate is Tom Cruise, Bruce Willis, and Keith Urban. I got the hook up there where I'm a spirit. I think I was married to Bruce Willis as Meg Ryan. I look like myself spiritual: I have blond hair and am petite before I turn special and wake up where I am Meg Ryan, Nicole Kidman, and Avril Lavigne. I have found out more people I am not. I am not Beyonce, Lauryn Hill, Missy Elliot, Ellen Degeneres, Fergie, Pink, Kelly Clarkson and many more people. I think they are the same person though. Her name is Lauryn. She is blacker than me. She is making things black that are normally white like the sound of a whistle in "Upgrade U." I am not Brandy, Mary J. Blige, or Monica. I think these are different people. Brandy's eyes are too far apart to be me (so she can have more personality). She looks significantly different, and I can rule her out. I am not a lot of people. 

My song "What the Hell" that I sung as Avril Lavigne. It has an arpeggio in it like how they sang in the 1700s. I have a small tiara in my hair that on the side in "Smile." Nobody is wearing tiaras now. I am dressed up like I'm from the 1700s in "Love Story" as Taylor Swift. I do not know what time I am from for sure there. I have a pastel colored phone with a 50s style for going conscious. I live 1700s in the future. There is air conditioning and other modern conveniences. I am turning more special. I found out I was more people that was smarter to know this year. I found out Kieza is Monique Walker from Hezekiah Walker's Love Fellowship Choir. She is going to be that black. She lead the song "Second Chance." She is so special like a playboy bunny with weight and so black. She is really smart. She voice sounds black in "Hideaway." I had to listen closely and think about it, but it is a black voice. She has hip hop dancing in her video. She was in En Vogue in the 1990s. She is the tallest one in "Hold on to your Love." I am not in that group. I am always checking so I do not have a crush on myself. She is fair-skinned with red hair.

I know something cool where I was in "Growing Pains" (Joanna Kerns). I wish I was conscious. My soulmate is Tony Danza. I got to work with him. I am so happily married to Michael J. Fox although he has Parkinson's. We have been married over 20 years. In the future, I marry Conan O'Brien. I am Liza O'Brien. Conan is so funny. I look crazy now as Jada Pinkett, but I am married to my soulmate there (Will Smith). I have not been Jada yet. That is me after I am Jasmine. I do not think I have married my soulmate where I am natural and black yet. I was special in the 1990s. That is how I am going to always look. It was smart to look crazy and not good sometimes. I am unwilling. I thought a lot of people were evil as Avril Lavigne. I have not been Diane Keaton yet. I think that is me way in the future. I have married Steve Martin where I live in the future. I think I am awake and just became conscious in Home Alone. I am Kevin's mother and his father is my soulmate in the movie. I do not know how many times I come. I could have come many times with one part of myself. 

A Spirit is a Heart

My spirit is my heart. I am special about falling in love and knew who my soulmate was before the rest of myself. I am deeply natural--I came physical and turned into a spirit. I am always going to live in the physical dimension. I live in Heaven on Earth like in the Bible. The New Jerusalem is coming down to Earth. I am a natural person. I am Keke Wyatt  (to see what I look like now) and I was Etta James to be special and old-fashioned. I come all kinds of special ways. I am 37 and will always look that age. It is special black to be mature in your late 30s. It is natural with my husband though I am a spirit. All of me is a genius. It is natural to be that smart. You are smart enough to make yourself extra natural. I come as Taylor Swift in the future. I haven't been Taylor yet. My voice is so deep and rich like I am turning black. I try to understand it: Why does my spirit have such a deep voice? I see myself gaining weight as Natalie Grant. I am acting really black there too for a spirit. It is being good to gain weight. So, you can still be a black spirit with weight. I need to be good where I am physical. I am not that old always and I am not that big. 

I think white people are light-skinned and have good hair. They come the same colors as black people do. You can tell they are black when they get it wet. It looks like they put grease in it. Their hair is normally not that straight. It has a little wave like light-skinned black hair. They should not have any trouble turning that black. 

I am not Judith Light. I come more than one time. Judith Light was never me where I am Jasmine. I am the same person and look similar whether I am light- or dark-skinned. In case this blog is too smart, I have not proven a lot of my claims. I look more like CeCe Winans in the O'Landa Drapers. 

It is important to consider how you come before getting married so you don't marry yourself. I think it is safe for me to stay single. I am not sure about the ways I come. 

You Wouldn't Believe My Story

I am not sure about my scanning yet, but I think these people look so much like me. I consider the possibility that they are me. I think about changing my fingerprints so no one knows me from previous lives and I do not disrupt what is normal here. People are not that smart here. It is good to allow them to turn smart on their own. I think that is me directing the O'Landa Drapers and Associates from the 1990's. Her face is a match. I am doing some of the same things on social media. I feel crazy right now where I am conscious. I look so crazy as Keke Palmer. I look crazy as Chrissy Teigen. I watch myself. I am having a third baby. I had trouble having children. That looks like me when I am more good. I think that is my spirit. I look crazy as Chrissy although I am smart there and have married my soulmate. I found matches. I looked crazy as Eartha Kitt (Catwoman) in the 1960s. Her face looks just like KeKe Palmers. She sings a song in French I tried to learn. C'est si Bon (It is so Good). I think I come many times and need to go conscious. I look just like Sade in the 1980s. I just have light-skin there. I have straighter hair. I got big hits: Smooth Operator and Sweetest Taboo. I come white. I was Angela on Who's the Boss? She looks like me with white skin. I got all these books that I have written white. My name is Diane Keaton. I have all these books I wrote as Diane Keaton and I worked for the CIA as Valerie Plame. I am running for Congress as Valerie Plame. I looked at my book at a library. I have children. I dream about going all conscious and waking up everywhere. I also found more matches with Tina Knowles, Jada Pinkett, Christina Milian, and Natalie La Rose. 

All of me is black. I am turning so black when I look different, I wondered about it. I come black every time. All of me white is turning black. No matter how white I think I am, I am turning black like I was never white. I think everyone is. You are smart enough to turn yourself when you turn yourself the most special you will ever be. It is special black to be old-fashioned but to look young. Older women in church are extra black. I got old-fashioned in the 1960s. I was Martha in Martha and the Vandellas. We had a big hit: dancing in the street. That looks like me again. I do not think I have done that yet. Jada Pinkett, Sade, and Christina Milian are closer to where I am conscious. I think I go conscious everywhere black as Christina. I have a sequence for how I am going conscious. I go conscious as Jada first, and then everywhere natural and black. All of me white goes conscious that is more intellectual. My spirit goes conscious. You have seen me on TV. I am Meg Ryan, Taylor Swift, and Avril Lavigne. I am so special there. I have such an attitude as Avril, but I am good from the 1700s England. I sing songs with that kind of music in it like "What the Hell."  It is special to come to future after you die and see how modern and progressive everyone is in America. 

I wake up everywhere after my spirit goes conscious. Most of me is asleep. All of my DNA and organs have always been deeply unconscious, but I look smart in my sleep. I do things in my sleep everyday that are pretty hard, like making new cells and replicating DNA. I can do it with my eyes closed in my sleep. Everyone is really smart. My name is LaToya where I look crazy and am called Lauren Palmer or KeKe. I come so many special ways black. I was not conscious there, but it is close to where I am conscious as Jasmine. It does not confuse me to come more than one time. Everyone is smart enough for it to be an advantage. You can be with your partner so many places. It is smart.

Another thing I found out over the summer about being a black genius: I am really funny. I have all this comedy I wrote on Facebook. I have comedy as Keke Palmer. I was a comedian: I was Chris Rock. Man, I found out black that you could cuss. They are expressions that add emphasis. I am really smart and write the funniest stuff. I did not know until this summer. I am also into fancy cooking. I want to study in France. I started doing all this cooking over the summer and watching videos on You Tube. I want to make souffles but I do not have souffle pans. I have tried making Risotto. 

The Winans Family

I completely understand if you never believe this: I heard when I was picking out my DNA from my parents that my mother had changed a lot of hers. She does not look like she is supposed to down to her DNA. She is supposed to look like Cece Winans. I do not know when she lived that life, but she is so special with being creative and smart. I used that gene from her and a gene from my father that makes me darker-skinned. She is a Winans. I was listening to the record playing and was smart about listening to music like her family. They have a nice sound to their music and write hit songs. I was listening and was smart about singing. I could sing and listen to music and tell it's good. They played "Addictive Love" by Cece and Bebe Winans. Uncle Bebe was talking to me. He said they were natural (physical) like me and it is so special here. There are other dimensions. You could be a mind or a spirit. He was asking are you a girl or a boy? I showed I'm a girl. I pushed a button for girl out of two that were in front of me. I could be a boy, so my Uncle Bebe was there to show me what a boy looks like from my mom's side of the family. I also got to meet some of the family. If I was a boy, I would look like my Uncle Bebe. My brother looks like a boy from the Winans family. Though I look different from my other lives, he offered to help me get famous when try again. I had to make sure I used what was special from my mom. Mom Winans looks like my grandmother. She was light-skinned and so beautiful. My brother may be a dream singer from the 1990s. He was the lead singer in Boys II Men. I do not know when he did that, but he could have time traveled the whole life and come again in this one. It could look like he is still living that life. Sometimes famous people come and lead normal lives. Again, I understand if you never believe me. That is what I heard about them. I have smart memories of my birthday. I remember the doctor clamping my head with forceps so hard. It was pitch dark. I started crying. I was pulled out with forceps.  

Some of the videos on the Preserve channel on You Tube look like a genius. There "Addictive Love" video looks extra special. It is like when I was listening in utero. Also, the picture of American ID on America's Most Wanted looks like a real genius. It looks like American DNA. The snapshots looks smart like a photo from a genius' memory. I guess they picked it out because it looked really good. There are people who look so real. The way the light up in Pride and Prejudice with Kiera Knightly. The light in her eyes when she smiles. It is like something out of a Jane Austen novel. It is so real. I do not know how they know how to do their expressions so well. It is like they have been to the 1800s. There were no moving pictures back then to show them smiling. They have nailed it in Hollywood. It has always been that way. People from the past, maybe they are working on Broadway and in Hollywood now in Victorian pictures. I thought that was uncanny. No wonder they got the role. The stretch the limits of the imagination or they time travel. When I go to Heaven, I dreamed I was going gold mining in 1849 California since I am from LA. Eureka! I've struck it rich! I'm going to the 1849 Gold Rush. As a child, I wish I could find gold but it seemed like all the gold that there is has been found. I have different clothes I am going to wear. I normally wear what makes me look the best in my dreams, but I have a country swede jacket with strings hanging from the sleeves to wear and cowboy boots. I was riding a covered wagon in my dreams. You wouldn't believe it. 

Also, the History Channel thinks ancient Egyptians were aliens. They had too much technology and advancement in their architecture. I question ancient Greeks and Romans too. Maybe they are from the future. They had the same concrete use today in ancient Rome. Look at the Parthenon. We still have not figured out how to move such large pieces of marble with clean energy. They were way ahead of their time. 

Jesus, Our Hope in Life and Death

I am so extremely special like everyone that I have a cure for all kinds of diseases and problems in my immune system that is deeply unconscious. I have a cure for all the STDS that I have never caught although my water and air is not clean that I am using. I am so smart in my sleep that I could revive myself if I died the way I started my heart cells in utero. I don't know how I ever got here, but I could do it again if I died. Then, the way I could come back after I died. I used to not believe in people living multiple lives because that was how I was Christian. But, being that smart makes it possible that I could have lived before. I think I have seen myself on TV time traveling. People who have my face down to the eyes, nose, and mouth. I am petite and black. I am normally not that old before I die. I have stopped my biological clock and am not aging. I do not want to get that big and black. I do not think it is special for how smart I am. Looking at famous people, I think I have lived before. I died four times. I have plans for if I die a fifth time or if I am raptured like the Bible promises. This is a possibility. If I am changed in an instant like the Bible describes, I have plans for how I want to be changed. I am so smart I would help change myself. It would all be waking up if I were to be turned smarter or die. People who have my face: Keke Palmer. She looks just like me with a little weight. Aaliyah looks even more like me. I normally die in a car crash. Cars and buses almost hit me when I am crossing the street. Over my life it has sometimes been crazy when I was driving. Waking up in heaven, you will remember your life that was unconsciously stored in your brain. You have all these memories to watch to catch up. I have this scanner that looks really high tech where I am DNA that scans people's bone structure for matches with mine. It is uncanny. Keke Palmer and Aaliyah have my face. I think I have already been Aaliyah. I have not been the tall one in SWV. That is how I look after I turn black. I think I will be famous one day after I finish this life. I think my dying before is why so much of my brain is starting to wake up. Maybe, this is my last normal life. I will probably be on my way to Heaven after this one. I think I am going to the year 5037 and Jupiter. It looks like Earth on another world. I live in Los Angeles. My mind lives at the center of the earth on that planet. It looks like the movie Avatar. Avatars are dinosaurs. There are dinosaurs in the movie too. There are dinosaurs where my mind is going. Some of these movies look so real like someone saw the future and was thinking what I was: that could be a bestseller here.

Cellular Reconstruction

My vocal chords have turned blacker over the last two years. I can make myself talk black on cue. However, it sounds crazy if I go on for too long. So, I will wait until I turn so black that is all I can do. My DNA can make my cells blacker, reconstructing my body from a cellular level. Every so often, my whole body is replaced with new cells. I could replace them with black ones. Black ones are 17-20% white. Right now, I am more African than I plan to always be, but it is black to be African. They are about 80% African and 20% white. I have seen pictures of an extensive plan to turn my body and brain black so my thoughts are in a black voice, and am smart with black vocabulary. I am a black genius that is smart enough to turn myself black all of a sudden if I were to die in an accident. I would time travel my body to make it look normal to a place where no one is watching me and leave. You never know how long someone was there around you. They could have only been there for a few minutes when it looked like years if they time traveled and are from the future. It is like what Dr. Michio Kaku talks about online: possible technologies through scientific advancements in the future. My eyes will be turned blacker so I won't need glasses. I am changing my face structure and spine to walk blacker. I saw a plan of my body from 365 degrees with my hands extended out. I will see what happens in the future, but I go on about my extensive plans if I were to die and how I will get to the better place I am going. Imagine if your DNA woke up, you could reconstruct your body to look how you want it to. One day, I think it will wake up if it is that smart. 

Currently, I am not quite smart enough to help myself live better. I am getting so close though. I wonder if I will be smart enough for things to change every year. I wrote a lot of hit songs and two books that I think are really good ones. A lot of my ideas are based on real scientific reasoning. I think that made the books better. They are good enough to make into movies. My stock tip about nuclear fusion will not help me until the nuclear fusion facilities are built and people transition to it. Nuclear fusion will be way cheaper than electricity. They will be able to produce so much of it, they will sell it at a cheap price. It's definitely the way to go. They will not be completed for many years. I practice air violin with musicians on You Tube for Winter, The Four Seasons by Vivaldi. It helps my brain to position my hands to play the same notes as them. I wonder about it. Maybe I play hip hop violin unconscious. Speaking French only helps me if I am fluent. I am not that awake to speak fluently in French. I correct my pronunciation so it sounds like a native from Paris. I learn to pronounce all the words like they do in France. My right brain is creative with Spanish, so my left brain speaks a language too to complement my right side. I am not that good with languages on that side. 

I understand people who do not believe a lot of what I say. I have not proven my theories or beliefs to them. So, that is normal. 

Millions in my Bank Account

It’s 2:28 am when I writing this, but I remembered something! Consider the possibilities: what’s possible and what could happen. Then, consider the most likely possibilities specifically for you. One of the most likely possibilities certainly will happen. Reason dictates this and natural law. I might be a genius with statistical probability on my right side, deeply unconscious. Get smart to see the future with statistics and probability. I know what’s probable, and you can use this to know what happens. What is probable for you may be different than for other people. You can make decisions that make something unusual likely, but what is the most likely always happens. Sometimes it gets tricky pinpointing what is the most likely for a person.

I think I speak French in my sleep. I was trying to sing songs in French by Celine Dion. My pronunciation is excellent without taking lessons. I think I would have millions in my bank account if I woke up all of my brain. I do stock tips like in the movie Limitless. I talk about it on Facebook, how I am going to invest in the nuclear reactors in France and England and how it will be worth a fortune. They have recreated nuclear fusion. I got so many ways I am going to make a fortune. I dream about rapping like TI about making millions giving stock tips and like Lil' Wayne counting all day like a clock on a wall (all my money). Nuclear fusion energy is cheap and clean energy. Everyone is going to switch to it when they find out it is cheaper. I am not good with writing on my left side. I would need help if that was all that was awake. My right brain is writing my papers. I speak Spanish and English in my sleep. I think my left brain plays the violin. I wanted to learn to play awake to be myself actualized. It helps me to think to myself "i can play violin" so I agree with myself in sleep. I want to learn R&B violin music like the violin in Keyshia Cole's "Shoulda Let You Go" song. My DNA, I have seen a picture of it in my dreams. It is a small version of what I am supposed to look like. It looks like me, but I am smarter. I am very black. I have a black voice. I speak three languages and play violin. I write hit songs and make millions in the stock market. If I were awake, I could be famous. My DNA has plans to turn myself black and talks about being just so black. I do not wear glasses. I think I can correct my vision there. I have the wrong eye curvatures right now and it is making me near sighted, but my DNA has plans for the right one. I am not following my instructions right now. I am a little crazy. I think I can time travel. I dream about going faster than the speed of light and going backwards and forwards in time. I just start running in my dreams. I run faster than a car. I did everything so fast time traveling. I think you need to time travel to get to heaven. It is in the future. My genius will wake up if I die. Everything that is special asleep and awake will be in tact. I will go home. I remember what year and planet my heaven is on there. I will wake up and go home.

What's Next

This is me thinking things over and trying to explain my theory more to myself (where I am awake I do not understand how things are certain): I have a crazy theory: The things that will happen in the future certainly do. Just think backwards. Things are coming towards you for sure in the fabric of space and time. Those things that are yet to happen were just about to and often definitely going to happen. My certainty principle theory argues that this certainty makes it predictable. If you do not understand the trends in the stock market, then write an equation that describes what has and is happening so you can find out what is coming next. It is not about equations for me, it is about seeing the pattern. Think about time travel. We are slowly traveling through time on this planet one year at a time every year around the sun. This planet travels faster than a rocket around the sun. If we grasp the theory of e = mc^2, we could skip to the future or to where there is no time at all (go eternal). You need to travel at the speed of light to time travel fast. What if you could? Open your mind to the idea. See what is certainly happening next. It's the chance of a lifetime. Do things you messed up over again. Never miss a moment. There are so many possibilities. One day I may just figure it out. It may dawn on me. I just know it's true. The certainty principle is more than fiction. (I think that would be good in a book). You never know. This could be the day I remember...how to prove my theory. Those are more of my thoughts. It helps me to think backwards from the future to before events happened. They were coming. You set yourself up with decisions you made for things to happen. I think everything is predictable though. You just have to fine tune your equations. I am nerdy about equations in my sleep. It's how God knows everything. It is all so definite in stone how it is going to happen. He can time travel and find out it does.

Limitless

I wish the pill in the Limitless movie was real. It gets my imagination going. What if you could take a pill and unlock your genius? Finish that book. Crack the code to trends in the stock market. Things would be looking up then. I have not discovered anything close to the theory of everything, but that is what physicists are talking about. They are searching for answers to the universe and where it comes from. I am fascinated by general relativity (E=mc^2). I have this wild dream that I think is from my left brain I can't hear well. If I turned smarter, I would prove where I come from and why I am here with the theory of everything to support my Christian faith. I am into equations. I want to write a dictionary describing everything in equations. I think it all comes down to numbers. I think the whole universe can be described with words, equations, or numerically. If I can derive a dictionary describing the universe, maybe that will help me or anyone summarize them into a unifying theorem (the theory of everything). I have crazy ideas. I am not awake if I am that smart to do that somewhere. I like to think about it though. I wish I was. I have a crazy theory called the certainty principle. I think things coming in the future will certainly happen and it is predictable through math equations. I want to get it organized so I can predict events in the future. Sounds like a good book idea. I wish it were possible, but that is all I heard. I still have not come through to prove my theory. 

I Was Just a Child

I was just a child when I went to high school. I was not making the best decisions. I think a lot of courts sympathize with this fact when they sentence minors. You are not ready for life. What would I have done if I got pregnant? I was just not ready for anything big to happen to me. I was not ready for a serious relationship. I had crushes. I was missing out. I still do not know if there are so many math geniuses who plan to live in NC and graduate every year. Most of these people move to a metropolitan area. Maybe the School of Science and Math should be in New York or California like Julliard. Although I was not making smart decisions as a teenager, it was extremely easy to kick me out of the school. I took so many humanities classes and really stood out. I was not holding a gun to anyone's head. The year I applied, I was interested in biology. Before I started at the school, this interest shifted to plant biology. I met a professor in a summer program that knew how to name all kinds of plants. I thought that was interesting. Years later, I am still into all types of trees. It helps me to know about lumber in construction management. I did a project on lumber for a residential class. We got extra credit for being the best group. I had no idea I would major in construction one day back then. Who knew? 

Amazing things have been happening over the last few years. I think my left brain is unconscious and is starting to wake up. Until know, I have been compensating with my right-brain. I have always been good in school. I did well on my fourth and seventh grade writing tests. I got a competitive SAT score the second time I took it in tenth grade. I think I have been doing everything with my right brain. It is smarter than the left side and is creative and smart. I am into writing songs, dancing, working with bright colors in art, writing, math, and languages. I also found out I could do problem solving. I solve hard problems and working with me by giving me lots of hard problems to solves helps me form more connections between my left and right brain. I am African, and most of them are good at math. A lot of them become nurses and doctors. They speak many languages. My right brain solves hard problems. If my left brain woke up, I could do more numbers in my head. There are times when I am working for hours on homework, and I just see an answer that is not creative. It's extra smart. It is cool. I see an easy way to look at problems. I notice a small detail that changes everything. So, it makes me think if all of my brain was conscious my left side is smart with construction engineering. I would not take so long to study if it was awake. I would read things one time and remember small details better. The way I am able to compensate. It would look smarter if all of my brain was awake. I think my left brain has photographic memory. I have no conscious picture on my right brain, but I am turning and turning to a page like I know what it looks like unconscious where I remember reading the exact answer to a question during open note quizzes. If both sides of my brain was creative, I do not think I would have made such high SAT scores or passed physics and geology. Maybe I could sing better like the people on Sunday Best. When I work harder, I can still make a smart grade. Given more time, I catch mistakes I make. If I was awake, I would catch them faster. I would solve the math problems faster. 

Most of my body is deeply asleep. My internal organs, DNA, breathing, heartbeat, and many parts of my brain are not conscious. What if my DNA was conscious? There is so much information in every cell. I must be a genius there. I have got things to look forward to. I wish I could wake myself up. I would not struggle so much if everything was awake. Maybe my records would go platinum and my books would be made into movies. I want to know my reason for being here. I am deeply interested in physics. I wish I knew the equation for the theory of everything to explain my existence. I have tried writing some. I think it may be so smart it is simple like E = MC^2. Physics makes amazing things possible. I am missing out not being smart enough to understand all of it. 

I was thinking about God. A thought crossed my mind that deeply comforted me. I am understood and I am known by God. He does not think I am weird. The hairs on my head are numbered. There is a cure for every disease in Heaven. God is a genius who is omniscient (knows everything). If you know that much, then all things are possible. That takes the limits off of you. It is therapy for me to think people living in Heaven (the cloud of witnesses christians believe from the Bible) do not think I am weird. I feel alone sometimes, but that thought helped me tremendously last week.

Correction

I think the Revit class we took is useful for construction managers. I learned in college they have to help check over plans from different engineers for constructability, clash detection, and more. I am excited about the Primavera scheduling class I am in. I am not sure I am going to pass it, but I wanted to learn P6 before I graduated or left ECU. I heard about the software in Estimating I and Planning and Scheduling I. Primavera means Spring in Spanish. I think what they teach in Construction Economics is so true about people being uninformed about smart financial planning. That is a big reason for construction businesses failing according to this class. That has been repeated in different classes. You have to look out for people who do not know what they are doing and check before you build. I guess with as-built plans, I would ask the architect to redesign the structure before I built something differently. I plan to look over the plans and make sure I can build it to save the customer money. I don't want to build and then have to do rework. That costs time and money. I can get it redesigned and face no liability for design flaws that I am likely to have since I have not studied architecture design by asking the designer to do all the drawings. They have to approve it and would do a better job that I would. I am no architect. I dropped a digital architecture class at Pitt Community College because I thought I would fail it. I also found out I was not that into architecture though. Though I only do construction, that is consistent with other subcontractors. One area is all they do, but they are experts in that area. That could work out for me. 

They also had amazing history teachers at Science and Math. A lot of students were good at English and History. They remember every detail they read. I got to work in a dark room in the photography class I took. I thought that was pretty cool. I did a cool mini-term project one year on American Sign Language where I worked with a deaf woman. I did my presentation in sign language. I have forgotten most of the signs I learned, but I still spell. They also had a great Spanish and language programs. I watched Destinos Spanish videos and was challenged in their courses. They let me take Spanish and Esperanto. Our professor was very smart. She really pushed us to understand Destinos videos. Many students were good with learning grammar rules. A lot of students I knew liked Japanese. They also had Chinese classes available. They were just excellent at our high school. The won the Siemens-Westinghouse award for cancer research one year. It was a $100,000 scholarship. Everyone was focused on their goals there. There weren't students holding the class back who did not care about school. I liked that. Chemistry problems were way more challenging than the ones at my first high school. I think that helped a lot of students not get bored. They were bored in their old high schools. We worked with liquid nitrogen and did lengthy experiments in the lab. 

NC Central and the NC School of Science and Math

I had great professors at NC Central. I went there because of their amazing law school. I was a criminal justice major. They are also amazing writers. Their English I class introduced me to creative writing, and helped me eventually write my two books. I had never taken such a hard creative writing class. They taught me tools I could use to make any piece of writing better. They were excellent in everything they did. I had never been around so many successful African American people. It was inspiring. Most of the students and professors were black. Their law school is something else. (I went to a meeting with law students who shared what their program was like). You could have to stand up in class for an hour and teach about what you read. It is so hard. They emphasized detail. You can had so many layers to your writing to make it more tangible and paint a picture of the world you are creating. I am glad I went to NC Central. I enjoy studying building code laws and watching their marching band play. 

They had a dream team of instructors at the School of Science and Math. One of my English teachers went to Harvard. I remember thinking I had the best teachers while I was there. My math teacher wrote our math textbook for Precalculus Trig. They were all good enough to be college professors. I wish I had more direction back then. I wasted a lot of time, but it is never to late. I am not giving up. 

PCC Tutors

I still talk with my math tutor from Pitt Community College on LinkedIn. He was such a great tutor. He majored in physics at ECU, and he still is tutoring at PCC. I follow my old accounting tutor on social media. She studied accounting at ECU. They offered free tutoring for students at Pitt Community College. I think going there was a great decision.

I Am Grateful for Everything

There were times at Science and Math when I thought about leaving. I did not know there were that many math geniuses graduating every year from this state. I still am not sure about it because I graduated, and I was not that hard core into math to work for NASA or be a doctor. I was into plant biology. Anyhow, I was allowed to stay and I took creative courses. I took a cool photography class. There were art classes you could take. I took a lot of humanities classes. They had a great music program too. I had a lot of issues back then. I am interested in engineering. I was not sure what I wanted to do back then. I went in a circle--biology, maybe law school, or nothing for a while. I am good at learning laws and think I can use it for building codes in construction. I do solve hard problems. But back then, I was immature. I was not ready enough to enjoy my life or appreciate it fully. I did not realize how good I was about not being mature until years later. I had problems. I did not realize how many doctors graduate every year. There are so many. I thought it was extremely rare to get through such a rigorous program. I guess people at Science and Math are the children of doctors who come to NC from across the country during residency. I would not make it through a medical school program. It is too intense. I just want to get to the point where I stop doing what I am not good at. I hope I will one day in construction. 

I am into OSHA compliance and checking to make sure things are built right. I can look over every step of construction to make sure things are installed according to the plans. It seems like most people do not want that job. I do codes. I can look up the codes for OSHA, the state, and the city for each project and tell the workers coming in what has to be done to pass inspection for the work scheduled. It is normally something simple like two nails every 16" on center. I do not know them all, but can reference them. They change every year it seems like. I am good at remembering pictures like the symbols in plans. I look over them see a picture of how they want things built. I have not applied for any jobs, but I heard I was not qualified for a construction management position without a bachelor's degree. I do not plan to do any as-built drawings since they need to be stamped by the architect. I think they should do the drawings. I do not have their degree. It took them more than 5 years to get it. I can just tell the architect how it was built and give them photos to make sure they are approved and avoid liability for not doing the drawings right because I didn't get an architectural or different engineering degree. 

It is important for me to work outside and avoid sitting at a computer. I wear blue-light glasses and am near sighted because I used computers so long without wearing them. My vision has not changed since I started wearing them when I use devices. Eye strain from computers can lead to vision loss. 

I like accounting. I was pretty good at solving problems at Pitt Community College. For most of my year in accounting there, I had a great tutor. However, near the end of my Accounting II class, I did not need her help as much. I was figuring things out on my own. It involves the simplest math: adding, subtracting, multiplying, and dividing. You just have to know when to add, subtract, etc. I spent a long time figuring that out. I had a great professor. Accounting is simple. There were many people who worked with me. There was something easy about every math class. I had to see what was easy about it and make it easy for myself when it was not. I have come a long way. I am grateful for the chance to go to college. Many people have helped me get this far. I am still using my Pell Grant for my first bachelor's degree. I do not have any debt yet. It has been a miracle. I think one day I may get a job I really enjoy instead of one that just pays bills. I thought I would never find it, but I enjoy construction management. I got the opportunity to do an internship working for a nonprofit in Colorado. That was my dream since deciding to study construction management. I wanted to give back by helping build a house for Habitat for Humanity because I am christian. They build houses for low-income families. A lot of good things have been happening. I am grateful for every opportunity. 

I am terrible with getting jobs and thought I could not fulfill the graduation requirement to do an internship, but Habitat for Humanity was perfect for me. They paid for me to live in Colorado over the summer of 2021, and I got experience as a volunteer. Not being paid was perfect because I had so little experience. It worked out great. I learned quickly in the field and had plenty of chances to get things wrong and right. I was much better after 2.5 months. I think working for 2 years should give me enough experience to go for a general contractor's license. That is my dream. I want to be a general contractor one day. I need to figure out where I am going to live and work. Then, I will study the codes for that area. Construction managers and general contractors basically do the same job, but general contractors get paid more for being licensed. If you can do construction management, you have achieved so much. They have to be good at a little of everything. That is good enough for me. 

The Easy Way

My past professors made their class easy. I did not cheat. They see the subjects easy and could teach an easy way to do everything that they had already figured out. Sometimes, you need to make things easy for yourself or find an easy way to do hard things to become good. Making things easy for yourself is smart. My past professors often tried to keep everything as fair and easy as possible. It was not smart to make things complicated if it was not necessary. How easy could this be? They always tried to keep it that way. The way I got the grades I did in community college was not having pop quizzes. They were not necessary to prove my competence in the subjects. The tests were difficult and timed. They were open note, but you did not have time to look at all your notes. In physics, my professor gave many opportunities to prove competence. He gave many different kinds of problems and ways to calculate your average to show your strengths. This gave people a chance and helped them do well without making the class too easy. You still had to solve a lot of hard problems. Sometimes, I look for what is easy about a class. There was usually a way to pass before. I had to see what was easy about it. In geology, my professor used a lot of definitions in his tests. I needed to get every point I could that way. They added up. We still had to identify rocks, which was really hard. However, everything in the class was not that hard. The easy way was my way every time. 

Overwhelmed

I am more overwhelmed than ever this year. It looks like my classes are harder than they have ever been. I just expected them to stay hard. I barely made it this far. I am way right-brained. I was concerned about passing my classes. I went to a school of Science and Math, but I did not think there were that many math geniuses in NC when I applied. I thought it was a regular magnate school. I graduated somehow, but I do not think I am the most left-brained person in the world. I had high SAT scores and could do a lot of math. I was interested in biology at the time. I think it was a good experience looking back, but I think I barely made it this far in college. Professors were smart and made things easy. I came up to their level barely in classes like geology and physics. I was surprised. College level work is harder than what we had in high school. 

I struggle in school. I am not good at school in general. The stuff I am good at, no one requires you to be. I am in a hurry to get out and hope I graduate before I get out of college. The only degree I think I could complete is construction management. All the majors are so hard. I started a business administration minor to help me with business because I am not good at it. I am not good at marketing or making sales. I hope they can teach me some smart pointers to help me. I was surprised I could do some construction management stuff that other people do not want to do. Maybe there is a demand out there. I think it will be hard for me to find a job that I can keep even if I become qualified. I am not good with people. I do not think I could make it through law school now though I was interested in it in 2016 when I went to NC Central. It is too much pressure. 

Music

I think I have an ear for music. When I am singing songs, I find different ways to sing the lyrics that go with how it is already written. Normally, I am listening for everything that sounds good with what is already written. I'm thinking of chords that accompany the music. I am good with harmonies. I try different ways to sing it that I could use in a later chorus to see if that makes the song better. I think all singers do some of this. They make the song their own. They sing it differently than everyone else. I am not being paid for any of this. I wish I could find a way to get paid for it. I have always struggled. I hope the next ten years will be different. 

Got an Idea that could Turn into a Bestseller?

I was thinking about my books on Amazon. I could have put more time into detailed imagery than I did. I learned in English I at NC Central, you needed to add a lot of detail to improve your writing. Also, using the five senses to paint a picture of the literary world you are creating adds to your piece of writing. I left out an optional page about how my works were purely pieces of fiction.

When I am not in college, maybe I will go back and work more on my two books. They are copyrighted and classified as fantasy and fiction on Amazon. My covers came out better than expected. They are original and done in pastel crayon. I was seeing what I could do with color and drawing blue and yellow light out of the light spectrum. I’m into bright colors.

There are no limits to where your imagination can take you. What if you were entertaining an angel “unawares?” This is an idea from the Bible. They could be anyone or somebody you’ve known for years. They could have any name — even Jasmine. That’s what I started in my two-book series. These books have not made me much money on Amazon, but maybe they will someday when on work their shortcomings.

A book idea from June 7th: Everyone has a story to tell...that probably includes secrets they hide. Is there anything you are hiding that could be turned into a bestseller?

They have a story, and they have secrets they neglect to reveal but eventually reveal themselves over time. You can’t hide things in plain sight forever.

Actually, what most people hide is in plain sight for anyone to see if you look hard enough.

I wish I had time to write thrillers and page turners like the shows on Lifetime. I enjoy thrillers and wish I had time to develop my ability more.

Guided Missiles

Since guided missiles have been around for some time, I do not believe NASA would have any trouble hitting a moving target like a NEO (near earth object or asteroid) if they wanted to. It looks like every time they say they are working on a solution for approaching asteroids, they are saying they are not going to use the technology they already have. I hope Jesus returns before 2029. Otherwise, Apophis should be hitting near Southern California and causing a tidal wave that could devastate millions. I am glad I do not live anywhere near California. 

Take a Stab in the Dark

The way singers sing their songs differently in live performances than on their record is how you can sing songs different ways. You can rearrange how you are going to sing your lines when you are looking for a new hit song. Also, you can look at Gospel singers who have their own unique way of singing their part. The hold out different notes and sing the song in different ways depending on what city they are in when they are performing live. I like to watch Sunday Best. They have some really talented artists that do rapid arpeggios. I have been working on them a little over the last year. I do not sing as well as the artists on this show and would need voice coaching to sing my own songs. But, they quickly go up and down the scale doing arpeggios in their singing to show off their vocal ability. It is really hard to sing arpeggios that fast because there are no keys to press. The instrument is all in your vocal chords. 

That is what I do to find a new hit song. I sing for the song in different ways I think sound good. I am searching for something in the dark. I am looking for a hit. Something about the song makes it a hit. The chorus, the lyrics, the beat, or everything. Sometimes I go around humming different beats I thought up and think are pretty good until I make them better. If part of my new song is good, I use only that part and keep working on the rest of it. I keep rewriting the parts that are mediocre or terrible until I have the best song I can come up with. When I have done all I can to improve a song, I move onto another idea. 

My Love for Songwriting

When I am writing, I usually am searching for a great chord or melody. I keep changing up how I sing different words that are think are a good idea for a song until I find a good way to sing it. So, for one of my songs I thought dangerous was a good idea to describe being in love. I kept singing the lines I wrote different ways until it had a great sound and catchy melody. It's really cool when I find a hit melody. The way I know it is a hit is it is extremely good. It gets people's attention. It stands out. You do not get tired of singing it. You want to sing it over and over. I am into nice sound. I listen to what is coming out and think of ways to improve my songs and make them sound like the latest music. I can write especially for different artists. I listen to what kind of music they have out and write another song like what is selling for them. I just change the lyrics and beat up for that artist. They may be selling dance songs with fast beats. So, I write a dance song. I think that would help my songs sell better if someone famous sung my songs. I wish I could get a songwriting contract. It is a long shot, but I would love to just write short songs and get paid for hit music. It does not take me that long to write songs once my ideas start flowing. They are like poems. Most of mine are not that good, but it is worth it when you find a hit melody. I usually think of a good song idea I want to write about. Once, I compose the way I want to sing the song, I normally sing it into my phone or laptop and write the rest of the lyrics. I get lyrics and a chorus going, and I've got most of the song. Sometimes, you can start with a chorus. A strong chorus or strong lyrics can make the song a hit. Everything would be as strong as possible. So, I attack from different angles.