Fall Exams

I turned in my video and finished my last exam. I am relieved that is over. I think I passed all but one class, but I do not think I will ever pass that one. So, I probably will not be back next semester. It seems like the wrong answer is right, you have to read their mind, and they think you cheated if you did pass. I do not have the time or money to waste on something that will never be. Anyway, I was thinking: I am not sure what to do about taxes if I were to come into a large settlement from lawsuits. So, I will not be suing anyone right away. I do not want to pay that many taxes. They are so large like in a communist country. Inflation is ridiculous here  too. You do not have to have any. In the 1990s, Clinton's administration had a surplus instead of a deficit. Congress is crooked about all the runaway inflation and taxes. So, I think there are loopholes in the system where you could pay reasonable taxes on money you receive. I heard about this one loophole from Shawshank Redemption: you need to leave your money to your spouse and you keep more of it. It is so crazy that there may be enough people to sue to retire early. I do not think I would ever be able to keep a job with how it is crazy here. I think that it is fair if I do retire early since I would have had a nice job. I speak Spanish and do construction. I write hit songs and books that could be made into movies. I have been so desperate to make a living for myself the last few years. None of them have worked. I need to do something before they electrocute me at the dentist. They've got such a thick power cord on their toothbrush. I imagine them needing elbow grease to shove that into the wall socket. It is so crazy here. 

Fall Exams

 

I have been working on my two presentations this week. I have notes I am studying for a marketing video and an equipment presentation. I also have an exam on Monday and Tuesday. So, I will be preparing accordingly for those. It has been a crazy semester. I thought I would be graduating when I started it because I already passed the hardest class in this program, but you never know. So, I do not plan to return next semester. I will be finalizing everything so that my chapter at this university is closed. I do not plan to join a lawsuit against them unless someone else starts a class action lawsuit. I do not think I would win because it is crazy here. I have been thinking: there is so much to be grateful for this year. I have watched so many great movies. I looked over my history online and remember great films such as The Prestige, A Good Day to Die Hard, and more. I am not going to the graduation because you have to be invited. I do not think that is normal though. All students should be allowed to attend. Also, it is not normal how hard it is to get credit approved for an apartment. That is probably a civil rights act violation like doctors who do not accept most insurance. If you have a civil rights violation, you can get a legal services from the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission (EEOC). I almost cannot get glasses in this area. They give me the wrong prescription and almost do not fix the issue. They make it so easy to stop rendering services for things like cancelling appointments. I cannot go to most vision clinics here after cancelling at one, but are they legal? We will see what the future holds. Presently, there are so many people to sue that I think I could win a settlement in at least one case.

My December So Far

I do not think the major I am in is normal. You should not have to take every class they offer to graduate. What does that say about this program? Well, I got through some tests today. I did not do as well as I normally do for my equipment management test, but I was satisfied. It has been a good week for me. I am not that pressured to get exams done. Normally, I do not enjoy Christmas because I have so many stressful exams to take. Usually, I would have already graduated if all the classes from this major were not required like usual. They could make them electives because they are not directly related to the major. It has been a crazy year. I have been watching good channels on social media and finding good movies to watch. I made a Christmas list. I went shopping for groceries this weekend. 

The electric toothbrush they have always used for my cleanings with a thick power cord doesn’t look safe. They squirt water into my mouth. I just realized that the other day. Maybe they need to put a warning on the box about rinsing battery powered toothbrushes after you turn them off to prevent electrocution. Water conducts electricity. Does water floss your teeth when food is really stuck? I don’t believe the claims of water flossers/toothbrushes. It is so crazy here. I am telling you. And doctors who selectively accept Insurance shouldn’t have a practice. It doesn’t matter which insurance you have as long as they get paid. How is it legal to not accept most or all insurances. I’m sure they’re capable of getting their money. Sounds like a discrimination issue. If they are not willing to serve the entire community, they are illegal. When have you ever found a hair dryer that wasn’t extremely dangerous near water? Should they be on the market if they are for drying wet hair?

What's Next for Me

Today, I found out I am not passing Cost and Scheduling for sure. That will help me not return next semester. I am not smart enough about her class to pass it. It is not about scheduling. It is about following her instructions exactly and mindreading. (What I think about that: every project is different. What good is following her instructions so close? No one is going to tell you what to do in the real world. So, I will never be good enough, but it does not matter. That is my honest opinion). So, not being smart enough, not having enough money to repeat the class if I probably will still not pass, and the major not being worth much to employers or how I could get a job all give me leverage to leave. It is not my fault. I would pass if it was a construction management major. I think about becoming an apprentice or getting paid training. I could get a job with what I know. I have a good foundation. These classes are more and more a waste of my time. I am not learning anything I could use as a construction manager. I think I have went as far as is useful. They are not going to teach estimating or scheduling if they haven't by the first semester of my senior year. The capstone is for a graduate project management degree. They do not need two classes for estimating if they are willing to teach it. I should not have to figure out on my own what they could share in person. 

I figured some cool stuff out this week. Since many professors say RS Means is not reliable, I thought I should look up local prices for equipment and materials since that is the cheapest way to go. Staying local keeps shipping prices low. Also, the prices are reliable. RS Means is an average at best that normally is only useful for ballpark estimates and ordering out of the local area. Every supplier has a different price that changes with the market. Averages are not reliable for this. So, I thought that was something I could really use. I could really get a good estimate that way. They are never going to teach it in this program. Looking up prices for estimates is like shopping for groceries. You're looking for the best deal. It is not rocket science. It is important you are not crazy enough to see that to be smart in construction management. I am not that smart. Construction management is easy. Unit price contracts do not have accurate estimates. Customers pay for every unit that is actually used. So, you do not know the full cost until the end of construction. Customers need to come prepared with plenty of financial backing to cover expenses.

I do not believe in retainage. This is capitalism. I work when I am paid. That does not sound like a legal contract and may not be valid. I only build what you paid me for. I learn ways to make sure I am paid, how to make out a schedule of values (or bill), and how to write the contract so that I am paid on time. If they don't pay, they can't live in the building. You can put a lien on their mortgage to make sure you get paid. They have all this bad advice they give in class about getting loans for client's buildings. Are you the one working or living there? You don't have to pay for their house! This ain't charity. You gotta be careful because they could never pay you if you do not know what you are doing. From the books I read and professors I had here, there are a lot of people who don't. Architects' estimates are usually not right and their drawings may not be up to code or complete. A lot of construction professionals do not build what they drew. I do not know why they have a job if they never draw things right and cost so much money. It is crazy here. A lot of subcontractors do not know anything about bookkeeping and make bad financial decisions. You need to know how to run your own business in construction. You are working with a lot of money, usually a mortgage, and you could want to keep it organized in an accounting system so that you never become legally liable. You need to know about contracts and laws that protect you. You need to know how to look over you books to make sure no one is stealing your money because it is a lot of money. 

I enjoyed my internship in Colorado. I learned a lot there. I got an American Red Cross CPR certification that is still good. I was good at the class. I was surprised. I could use that in construction. So, I do not know what is next for me. However, I am not passing all of my classes already. I do not think it reflects my intelligence. But, I do know it is crazy here. I do not know what is next for me yet. 

Blade Runner 2049

There is another movie that I found that repeating the same idea about all the humans dying in the future from some kind of nuclear bomb. The only hope that is left are clones that are trying to have children like humans. I got this idea from Blade Runner with Harrison Ford, Blade Runner 2049, Divergent, Insurgent, and Allegiant with Amy Adams, and The 6th Day with Arnold Schwarzenegger. I have been watching Blade Runner and Blade Runner 2049 this evening. Clones are evil they look so much like special humans but find out they are not special at all. It is not right to clone people. They call them replicants in Blade Runner. That means a copy. Who wants to be a copy? It is not right to make people who aren't special and use them like they are expendable. They would not want to be created. It is a waste land in Blade Runner 2049. The tree in the movie is dead. Everything green is dead. It is like something radioactive decimated everything in seconds. I am trying to figure this out. 

They turn out to all be clones in the Divergent series. Only few people are special enough to have all the personality traits in Divergent like dauntless, candor, erudite, etc. That is what they think is special and human. They are jealous of you if you are divergent and do not fit into any of the personality groups. There would be a war. They live closed off from the world in a walled city. The outside has been destroyed and has high radiation levels. Divergent people are more special than the others. These clone people from the future do not sound good. The aliens, clones, and A.I. may not be good if they turned smarter.

I do not think any humans are alive after a certain year on Earth. The humans who remain are not really on Earth. It is on another planet no matter how much like Earth it looks. Humans are in the Rapture or killed during the Tribulation period by a certain date. Then, there are only clones on Earth. Further in the future, like in The Peripheral, human minds may be living there that people from the future think are polts or poltergeists. They think you are already dead and are a ghost. They are evil, but they may kill you because you are crazy dead and it could help you. The polts are in shock and do not remember they died. If you died, you could be crazy in the future after 2030. Your body could have become a clone that is like a robot and think it lives on like in Blade Runner 2049 and The 6th Day. But, I think you must have died if you are from Earth and eventually will go to Heaven. Heaven in the Bible is on Earth. In the future, the New Jerusalem comes down to Earth. Whereever you live, your Heaven is on Earth. You could have also left in the Rapture. The tribulation lasts 7 years after the Rapture. 

Ken Peters

There is a video on youtube with Ken Peters that shows what he thinks is the 666 Mark of the Beast at this url: Ken Peters Vision of the Tribulation and the MARK of the Beast 666 - YouTube at 43:41 minutes. It is important to see it because it does not look like 666. This is a video from the early 2000s. He is a prophet. It has three hands on it that are the handprint of a human. If you have the whole hand, it is a human. The number of fallen man from the Bible is 6. There are three hands. One is a spirit that looks like it is on fire (like in Hell), one is upside down, and one is a hand inside that one that is smaller. It looks like a mind in a body. The antichrist is evil if he is real. He is not going to tell you it is the mark of the beast, but it will be like in the Bible. You will not be able to buy or sell without this mark. It looks like America does not go to the future, but there was a video made in the early 2000s warning about the Mark. It is now available on youtube. If you ever see this mark, maybe you will think twice about taking it.

If you are Christian, you have heard about this mark in church and are not willing to take anything that sounds like the mark. You are not willing to get a computer chip in your hand to help you buy or sell. That is one example of what they have to today that sounds more and more like the mark. They have all the technology they need to give the mark and there are communist governments that would always take over the world. Marxists want to dominate the world. Everything is set up for a one-world, communist government like the Bible predicts in the last days. They all use the same currency in Europe like they are one country (the Euro), and they plan to initiate the Great Reset by 2030 that changes all governments to socialist ones. 

Another common theme I hear in movies is about evil aliens that are body snatchers and evil AI that kill all the humans and side with the aliens. I do not think they were good. This fear of AI becoming too smart and taking over is repeated over and over. Elon Musk warns about developing AI at Google. They are not sure they are good. 

God is good. He almost lets communists take over the world, but America almost is not Christian. It is so evil here with rampant shootings. They even have them in elementary schools now. There was legal abortion for decades, and it is more unsafe to live in America than any other generation. Maybe we should be taken over. If you do not repent, you could be. There has been a rally of Christians in the last few years. We overturned Roe vs. Wade. We are friends with Israel and recognized Jerusalem as the rightful place for the U.S. Embassy instead of Tel Aviv. 

It is runaway evil all over the world outside of Europe and North America. It is so illegal if you go to Mexico. You could sell so many drugs and get away with it totally. The police are corrupt. People are so poor in Africa, but they live near gold and diamond mines. Someone has stolen everything from them and become their dictator. I look at Russia: hasn't someone killed Putin? They are not happy with him being their president still. It is like no one can kill him. He looks so dangerous as their leader. They are not happy in Russia or China with their governments. These men are not normal. Everyone wants them dead, but they live on. They will never be free under communism. 

I believe aliens look like giant ants. The pictures they show of little, green men are the size of bugs. They have no white in their eyes like bugs. Maybe that is how they look. This image is repeated over and over. In the future, or in the past on their planet, they evolved like the apes. Eventually, all animals could evolve like a human and stand up on their feet. You cannot be sure you are human because you walk. They have larger brains than humans like Neanderthals. They take longer to mature. They are stocky and white like Europeans. There are many people with Neanderthal DNA, but I am not sure they are from Earth. People who are the most human genetically are black and African. 

Although you may look like a bear, you cannot be sure why you do. Pandas look like bears, but they are more closely related to racoons. I think this is the case with Russians and Chinese people. They look human, but are they closer to Neanderthals aliens and dolphins? The Denisovan was a mermaid. They can hold their breath with their increased levels of hemoglobin in their blood. This is useful when there is not much oxygen. Underwater or at the tops of large mountains like in Japan, Nepal, and China. They are close to the water still like a mermaid and do not need oxygen. A full blooded Denosivan could live underwater like a dolphin. They are still closer to the dolphin than a chimp, but that does not sound human. We are closely related to apes and considered part of the ape family being Homo Sapien. 

I found this out from being Christian. I have always been very religious. Sometimes, I think God gives me smart ideas. There are unusual things around you that you could notice that were always there. God is protecting America. The Muslims around Israel that would destroy her would always attack here. They say death to America in their videos. They are not friends with Israel or God. It is evil to follow Allah. He keeps them in fear and Jihad is not holy war. God protects you. They have so many missiles they would always fire. Maybe they should though if you are evil like them. They were evil with September 11th. One key to America's success is its prosperity. They attacked the New York Stock exchange. They are evil to destroy America. There was no mistake. The center of trade in New York was an evil target.

I do not think they know they are alien in Russia or China. The people are stay poor and are dominated by dictators probably do not want to live there. They would replace their governments with democracies like in America. They keep their ruler rich. The cannot leave. As long as they live there, all their money goes to the government.

The Imitation Game

The photo of the leader of China looks like one from a funeral. It is weird. No one does their hair like that anymore. They haven't since the 50's at least. It is like time stopped for them in the 50's. They used to part their hair and comb vaseline into it, but most people have forgotten that routine. The Tomorrow War is taken from an American perspective, but I believe Kung Fu Travellers I and II is the same story from a Chinese point of view. They have the same technology from the Tomorrow War to time travel into past to get help about the war in our future. They barely have mastered time travel and cannot return or are limited on how much they can time travel. Kung Fu Travellers is in Chinese with subtitles. Almost all the humans have been killed by aliens in both movies. They are fighting a losing war against aliens. I didn't even know about Kung Fu Travellers until the other day. It is in Chinese, but it is a good story. 

The volcanoes in Yosemite National Park and Mt. Fuji in Japan are due to erupt. There could be another ice age after they erupt and block the sun for years. Anyway, I am really into Bible prophecy. I believe Mystery Babylon with its many peoples and tongues is America. No other country is so culturally diverse and prosperous as America. The Bible tells what happens to America in the book of Revelation if it is the Mystery Babylon. She is the Mother of Harlots. There is so much fornication and promiscuity since the sexual revolution although she used to be Christian. She was founded on Christian principles and has "In God We Trust" on her dollar. According to one movie, the way we won WWII was by being conservative, law-abiding people. The Germans were not following their own rules and gave away their war plans that way. We were able to break their code and defeat them. They kept this top secret until the invention of computers. It was in The Imitation Game. We need to do it again. You would be yourself the most special to keep your place as the leader of the free world. God would be on your side like he was then and in every major war. There was no way for a bunch of farmers to defeat the greatest navy in the world (Great Britain) without God during the Revolutionary War. Without God, we are going to lose the impossible war that is coming as long as there are communists. 

I think there are probably aliens who would take over if you do not take better care of your planet. If there are aliens, they are from older planets and already landed. If the leader of the free world is slow, and if everyone is crazy, they would always take over. I believe they landed in ancient times and had architecture that was way ahead of that time in Egypt with the pyramids. They are too big without cranes and all clean energy. They had TNT and paper in ancient China. They are closer to a dolphin than a chimp in China being neanderthal denisovan. They got the same portland cement that cures underwater that we have today in ancient Rome. They need to think they landed and took over centuries ago and that most of the world is socialist/communist for us to enjoy a brief period of freedom today. They are communist. I am telling you, they would take over if they think they are a better leader. Whenever they are, they are evil to take over and are not going to look human anymore. Ancient aliens are from planets that are older than this one with time travelling capability. They landed centuries ago and occupied. They almost takeover the whole world. Who would believe any people could take over the world in ancient times? But look at the Huns. Look at the Caesar. It was just impossible if you aren't from the future.

The Crossing and Kung Fu Travellers I and II

I found these great movies yesterday with Tiger Chen in them: Kung Fu Traveller 1 and II. I also found a movie with Emilio Estevez from 1990 to watch: Men at Work. They were great movies. They had cool stories about the future in two of them. The same story is repeated in so many movies: Americans do not go to the future. Something happens where they are all killed in movies like Kung Fu Traveller and The Tomorrow War. So many things could happen. There would be a third world war, a communist takeover by large communist nations like Russia and China, a great reset where there is a world takeover, dormant supervolcanoes in Yosemite National Park that erupt, and an asteroid that hits. Take your pick, I do not think we have long in America. We have had slow presidents that they joke about for over 20 years. From Bushisms to Obamacare. They say an asteroid may hit southern California by April 2029. They thought it would in 2004, but changed their story to say it will barely miss. How can they possibly be sure if it comes closer than the satellites that orbit the Earth? 

The same story is repeated in movies about the future of America. There is a war with aliens that is so  hopeless. Almost everyone has been killed somehow. In the Bible, there is no America at the end of history. There is a one world government that takes it over. The refer to America as Mystery Babylon, Mother of Harlots. She sits on a sea of many waters literally (the Pacific, Gulf of Mexico, and Atlantic) and figuratively (a melting pots of peoples and tongues/languages). She is so prosperous. You will know her when she comes. It is a mystery because she did not exist in ancient times when Daniel and John the Revelator were writing about her in the Bible. She is so wealthy from trade. We trade with nations around the world and are the most prosperous. She is a harlot because she used to be Christian but is no more. The Bible refers to Israel in this way. It is adulterous when it forsakes the God it once loved. The Bible says the Mystery Babylon is destroyed by consuming fire. that causes desolation and makes waste. I guess that is a nuclear bomb.

If you weren't killed by the one world government that kills everyone who does not bow to the image of the beast (a statue that the world has to worship) according to Bible prophecy, you will be wiped out be aliens. That is what is repeated over and over in all the movies I watch about America after 2030. 

I watched the Crossing with Takeshi Kaneshiro on Wednesday. It was such a good movie about Chinese history. They were not always communist in China, and fought to preserve their freedom before being taken over by them. There were so many traitors on the side fighting against communism that they lost the war. You never know when someone is a traitor when fighting a civil war. They speak your language, but things keep going badly when they are around and they could just be shot in battle when this becomes clear. It was cool seeing stuff like that in The Crossing. Information was continuously leaked to the other side. People who didn't fight well at all just got shot for treason. I thought that was clever. Something is being good during battle. You could just get shot by people who don't like you and it is easily lost with all that confusion. You have to carefully to look out for traitors in your camp. They are really working for the other side. 

A new episode of The Peripheral came out today like every Friday. It was so weird when the main character was playing her sim and she was put into REM sleep with her eyes darting back and forth. If it is really a game, it does not play with your brain and put you to sleep like anastesia. If it is a game, it does not connect your brain to a body's peripheral nervous system and allow you to feel the body. It was so weird that I did not think it was a game early. 

Thanksgiving and the Holidays

I am doing what I was never able to do before. I am just relaxing for Thanksgiving and celebrating the Holidays early. I do not have any pressure to do my assignments well. This is more of what makes me special. I am not that smart, and I would not have to be. The reason why I joined this program is that it is an easier one in the college of engineering. There are people in this industry that never went to college. They become an apprentice or just go from job to job learning new skills and gaining experience. I give up on my cost and scheduling class. It seems like I need to do everything all over again when it was not wrong and that I am still going to have to take that class again if I did. It is crazy here. Most people do not pass, and if you were, you would not pass either because that is not viewed as fair. That is the gist of what I am getting after being here almost 2.5 years. I am not sure about it, but I do not think I could pass that class the first time whether I was qualified or not. I have to take it again with the capstone that you do not need in a bachelor's program. They are never teaching you how to do estimates or scheduling in class. You cannot find it online unless it is in bits and pieces in videos. You have to get a job you are not qualified to get first to learn anything important. I still need experience to learn everything I want about carpentry. I do not plan to get it though. 

Something else crossed my mind. I have been wearing glasses since I was a kid (in second grade). I do not think I would be this nearsighted if they told me that the TV and computer screens were straining my eyes with their blue light. They told me it was fine and that it was not good. I was just a kid. I trusted them. Everyone had a television, and you needed to do so much homework on computers. However, my vision has stopped changing after not using computers or switching to blue light glasses. My vision has not changed for over ten years, but it is nearsighted. It is not right how they never tell you, but phones, computers and televisions can cause eye strain and vision loss. 

There are so many cases I could pursue civil lawsuits about, I think I should. I could make enough money to retire early. It seems like it is not smart to work because it is crazy here, but maybe I do not have to. It is so crazy in Japan. Everything is in Chinese and Japanese. You have to read both to get through their signs. Some kanji words look like mumble jumbo or curly cues. I am not sure about it. How long does it take to count votes when you have voting machines? They still are not sure about the elections two weeks after they happened. I do not believe democrats are the majority. They aborted most of their children twenty years ago. People who kept their children were conservative and Republican. They were pro life. Democrats shouldn't be winning any major elections where majority rules. All the catholic, Christians, and conservatives who kept all five of their children twenty years ago raised them conservative and are replacing the dying baby boomers. There's no way Biden won in the Bible belt --- in Georgia. I believe they had illegal mail-in ballots that were miscounted our not counted at all (when they were for Trump). It was easy for that election to be rigged. Biden can't even give a speech. He is so old. This is a national security problem. He makes the United States look weak to its communist enemies such as China, Russia, and North Korea. 

Also, I have become extra picky about protecting my ears. The headphones they sell online everywhere that you put inside your ear canal are not safe. I do not use those. I have to wear headphones. If you accidently blast the volume too loud, it can cause hearing loss over time. I am too young to wear hearing aids, but that is where those headphones were taking me. I do not put anything inside my ears and keep my volume turned down low.

House of Flying Daggers

I tried to make a Gaant chart for my equipment management project with MS Project, but you have to pay about $679 to use MS Project. I managed to put in a schedule, but we will need to use Excel to come up with the costs. I did not estimate the costs. I had to take a photo because it would not let me save anything. I worked on my management project today. I wrote a little over a page for the marketing analysis. That is all I have to write if everyone else writes about a page in our group. Then, we need to make the video for our parts. I did most of my construction economics (accounting) homework today. It was not bad because I learned the same cash flow formulas in equipment management earlier this semester. 

I watched a good movie yesterday. It was called the House of Flying Daggers. I think the sequel information said crouching tiger, hidden dragon is a Chinese proverb that refers to using one's inner strength. I like that. I wondered the whole time if that girl was blind. I wouldn't have believed that. Then, at the end it came out she wasn't. She just used that to seduce men. She used her position as a geisha in a brothel to further her political cause for the House of Flying Daggers. I thought it was a good story. Martial arts is cool. One kung fu master can beat up a whole gang of opponents because of their training and skills. They have moves that can leave you on the floor even though they may not be the biggest fighters. 

I watched a livestream with Rion Ishida last night. He answered many of my questions from the chat. I think a lot of the signs in Japan are in Chinese although most Japanese people only speak Japanese. Rion let me know he speaks Chinese and Japanese and that they are in Chinese. I wanted to ask a native speaker. The script looks way too complicated to be Japanese like they drew a whole picture. There are too many strokes like in Mandarin Chinese. I do not speak Japanese, but it does not look right if you do not speak any at all. They get hot coffee somehow in Japan that is in a sealed bottle. I asked about that. They must keep it hot. They don't have those here. 

I Plead Insanity

I watched a new episode of The Peripheral on Prime Video. It is a pretty good show. I do not plan to go anywhere on vacation. I am low-income on disability, but that is what is smart here. I do not have any money people could take away from me. It is crazy here. Someone could sue you for all the money you ever earned or put you in jail on circumstantial evidence. I only have other people's money to give them. I have my disability from tax payers. I have so many insanity defenses to protect me. I am on medication, I see a psychiatrist, I am on disability, and I live my mother. I could plead insanity like nobody's business and never go to jail or show up in court. I get a quick summary judgment and never showed up. Other people have to pay for my legal fees. Wouldn't mess with me. You end up paying for it. It is too crazy here. I think whatever money I make will be sued and I will end up with my mom again. I plan to live with her as long as I can, and maybe that is all I can do although I am smart enough to work. I am not that crazy to need medication if it could help with more than a small problem. I haven't gotten to the bottom of all this. I do not know why my life has been so hard. 

I did a lot of homework today. I took a quiz for marketing management. I studied for construction economics. I looked through the second power point. I read two chapters for equipment management. I plan to work on my marketing and equipment projects this weekend. It was a productive day. 

Did you know the water in bottled water is not pure? Also, the plastic bottles that they use can cause breast cancer. Isn't the city supposed to purify your running water? They did not treat it and left chloride and fluoride in the water. I can brush my teeth with tap water. This is on top of all the moldy food in boxes at grocery stores that has preservatives in it they don't need. You shouldn't eat preservatives. They are not food. They cover them up with too much salt and sugar. Even though I can't work, I think I could use money have saved from disability to talk to a lawyer. This could go all the way to the supreme court. This covers food and water across the country. And, you know I don't have to pay for the legal fees if it goes that far. I just get a check. This looks like a class action lawsuit that everyone could get paid about. If you are not crazy enough to notice, you could really get paid. Also, the sugar in mint floss, mouthwash, and toothpaste is why my teeth were always about to have cavities. I use baking soda now. My teeth stay white. That's what it was. There is sugar in all the toothpaste. I thought that was supposed to clean my teeth. I almost got cavities from using them though. I have to come up with an idea to keep my money first. Until then, I live with my mom. 

Something crossed my mind. I just have to keep living with my mom, and I can come into a large settlement. We both can. We could be living good. I have to think about it. We will see.

Test 2

I passed my second HR Management and Quality test yesterday with an A, but I do not think I am going to pass my cost and scheduling class. I am not really good at that class. It is about memorizing things word for word. I am still not sure I am going to pass the project that is due in late November. It seems like everything is worth half your grade. You can fail so quickly. I am ready to get out of that class. I think I am good at Primavera 6, but it looks like it's not about that. You have to pass her test. You almost have to read her mind. She takes off for things that do not make you good at scheduling. Even though I think I would pass what I turned in yesterday and that your WBS does not have to be identical with hers to be a good one, I think she is going to fail me whatever I turn in. Most people fail that class I guess. It is crazy here. I am cool with it. I was not coming back next semester either way. I asked for help about how mine was not scheduling the gaant chart, and I thought she messed up my schedule. 

There were no loops with the relationships. I got a 100 on the relationships assignment. The program said I had 10 loops, and she helped me to fix them but none of them changed. I do not think there were any because of my grade. But, I had to open my old files I saved because my schedule was all messed up trying to fix the program's crazy loops. Or, I had to start all over because I did not use her WBS from early in the class. It was not opening for me and she would not help me although I asked her more than once for help. It is really not worth it to me anymore. I have to get out of this program. I am not a project manager. 

Let me tell you how crazy I think it is. They changed the construction management program to project management and didn't tell anyone. You have to read their minds or something. That is what some of these tests that I am so stressed out about are on. They are so unreasonable. You need to know what they were thinking instead of construction. What did they mean? They did not ask the question clearly. I know some of my teachers were project managers, but I thought it made sense in 2020. They were qualified in construction management too and it seemed like being a professor was a good fit for them. If you are a construction manager, you probably want to start your own business and do not want to be a professor unless you are retired. 

I think I could still get a construction job with what I learned so far. I have an OSHA 30 card and CPR certification. I wish I had more experience with carpentry. I hoped to get some in the labs here without getting paid. I wanted to learn to fix air conditioning in the mechanical electrical class, but it had no lab. This degree does not mean much to many employers. Maybe, you do not need it. They will pay you for what you are worth. I can do a lot for the project with what I know about contracts and OSHA codes. I would help run a safe site that passes building inspections. Maybe I will learn on my own house projects. That will help probably. I can manage building my log cabin rentals. I can hire my own subcontractors and work on my cabinets. I wish I learned more here though. It was not a total waste of time, but there were several classes I thought I did not need.

I almost majored in pre-law at NC Central. However, I thought the system was crazy and switched my major. They cannot prove you guilty unless they have DNA evidence. They need to assume you are innocent until proven guilty. A lot of innocent people are in jail. I did not want to be part of that. I did not think it was worth going through law school if it was crazy. Also, the jury should not decide if you are guilty. It is not a decision. They have evidence or they don't. I use that to learn building codes. I know how to reference OSHA codes. Our professor was a good one. He showed us how to navigate the codes online. So, if you have a question, you can look it up. The law changes. You just need to know where to look for your project. For whatever is in your project, there are codes that apply to it. Look up what is in your project and it tells you how to stay in compliance. The law will work for you if you know it. It will protect you. So, there are plenty of laws in construction. It does not look crazy. 

People you could help me sue: all the manufacturers in the grocery stores that put preservative poison in their food. You could sue America. Man, all the food in boxes are preserved with carcinogenic chemicals. Isn't that illegal? It should be. There are so many people to sue, I could win a large settlement. I am not going to live as long. All the food I could buy has preservatives in it. Also, the vitamins I have been buying, have no nutritional value if they are man-made. Doctors will tell you to be picky with your vitamins because they are not all real vitamins. Yet, they charge you such a high price for vitamins that have no value. This shouldn't be legal. It is so crazy, you could sue enough companies that you always have an income coming in from settlements. 

No Sweat Studying

I do not plan to sue anyone at my college for changing the program to a project management one because I do not think I would win. It is so expensive doing lawsuits. I would only do what I am probably going to win. There are plenty of other, illegal people to sue. There are cases that someone could win that wouldn't waste time and money. 

I have a disability. I need therapy for all that I have went through. I am trying to manage my disabilities the best I can. I think I am doing well despite them. I found a new youtube channel: Rion Ishida from Japan. I love watching his videos. Japan has wonderful vacation spots. They have a Universal Studios. 

I have been preparing for my test that is due tomorrow for several days. I do not know how I am going to do, but I do not feel pressure now. I think that class is too hard for me. I am not smart enough for a project management major. They are getting too hard now. I did not think this until my senior year. 

I do not plan to go to Pitt Community to take any classes. I am tired of school. I just had to learn what I needed with this degree or I was moving on to something else. It is not a job. I do not know what I will do right now. I have a plan for when I am able, but I need a break first. We will see how I feel after I take a break. I have been so stressed out trying to pass this design program. It is crazy here. It looks like it is a construction management program, but you could pass design too to graduate. So, I am probably not going to make it. I am glad I did not pay for my last semester. 

When I realize I have all these projects that are really for a design major, I do not sweat it too much. I am taking it easy and doing what I can, but I did not sign up for design or civil engineering. Look's like they switched it to project management and did not tell everyone. Now I know what I need to know. They do not need project managers like construction managers. Most projects are not that big they need a project manager. You can make more money and get more projects building houses. They are going up every year. The projects with project managers are rare and only one company wins each one. However, there are many local construction businesses that are putting up houses every year. I would not want to get two degrees to be a project manager if I could. You could just get one with construction management and start your own business building houses. There is a shortage of construction managers. You would be in demand. I know someone who did the opposite of me last year. He was in civil engineering before he came to ECU. Then, he got a graduate degree in construction. That is more of what project managers do. If construction management is a project management degree, it should be a graduate program. 

Night Sky and The Peripheral

I have been studying for tests next week today and got a lot done over the last three days. Although I do not think I am smart enough to pass both construction and design, I study for tests still while I am here. It helps me to pass the time. I watched the rest of Season 1 of Night Sky and The Peripheral. I think the peripheral refers to being outside of one's body after they died. They are on the outside of that old life. It was cool figuring that out. 

I think they have made the construction management degree into a design major. It is impossible to pass unless you could have majored in design and been a project manager. Project managers are designers that also need to get a general contractor's license or qualification. I am no designer. So, I am probably not smart enough for their design program, but I could have been a construction manager. That is a general contractor. It is crazy here. I think I could manage my own projects, take a class or two at Pitt Community College on HVAC repair and plumbing, and have a rental up making money. I could live in it and have a roommate who pays rent at first. Then, when I am doing well with my foreman job and rental, I could build my own house. There are classes at Pitt Community College that really do teach you how to work with HVAC and plumbing. I could just take one or two at a time and get the skills I need to repair most common problems with my property and save a lot of money. 

I could get experience with a part time construction job working on residential projects as a foreman. I can work construction equipment, do CPR, and look up OSHA or building codes. I just wanted to have a checklist that I check off to make sure we pass inspections. I do not think I will do that kind of job long though. I heard it is not safe to stay in construction a long time from college classes because it is a dangerous industry. So, I have a back up plan how I want a log cabin rental business and land to go with it. I was going to run a sheep farm and train a dog for herding sheep. I do not want to work. I love animals. Renting may be the way to make a good passive income while doing what I enjoy. I do not mind cleaning or lawncare. I do not want a desk job or to be stressed out. I like gardening. I could add nice landscaping to my property and keep that up so I don't get bored. 

The Peripheral

I am watching The Peripheral. It is so exciting watching. I cannot wait to see what happens next. It makes me dream about the future. Maybe some of these stories are true and from the future. I am watching it on Prime Video. I rarely find such a good show that I want to watch all the episodes like this one. I am hanging on the edge of my seat. I wonder about the peripheral, if it is another dimension Americans went to when they died physically. It looks like the main character has died to me. Her world does not look physical in the 2040s. And, I thought the SIM video game she was playing was real before they told me in the show. It looked so real. The characters were dangerous if it was real. She could feel her body there. It was like a story I heard about being conscious. 

You can change where you are conscious and awake. She was conscious in the video game or another place and time. Oh my gosh, that was right! It was all real. She was going to London in the future and doing hit jobs. She thought it was a game to earn money by gambling. She didn't know. I wondered if the hit men who came to kill her and her brother were more physical or more mental than her. I think she is a mind. The hit men with the cars that could become invisible look more natural to me because they know they are from the future. They are invisible if you are not from their dimension. I think she has died and thinks it is still the 2040s but the natural is 2100. She can move her consciousness around into video games. She does not look like a body. She went to 2100 it looks like after she died. I do not know if she will ever figure it out. She does not look alive anymore. She's in the peripheral. I love figuring this stuff out. Sometimes I think parts of the stories could really happen. That's so cool! (The synopsis talks about finding out what is on the other side of death).

My Business Dream

I would need to take some community college classes on HVAC and plumbing repair to help me start my rental business. That way, I could repair most common problems and save money. That is what construction could always help me do although I probably will not manage many projects. It would help me to learn maintanence for a property. I am really stressed out and need time to sort things out. I have been so burnt out for so long. Maybe, I need a break. I could use a design partner to design my log cabin rental. We could have a partnership. I have a detailed vision for how I want it to look. When business is doing well, I can build a second one for myself live in. I just go by and do maintenance and cleaning duties when different guests leave. 

I wouldn't mind managing my own project to save money on a general contractor. I could interview the subcontractors I want to be in it and work on my own custom cabinetry for the kitchen and bathroom. I wanted to be good enough to make my own cabinetry out of wood. Maybe I have wasted my time in this major. I became focused on getting a bachelor's degree although it was not what I thought it would be a year ago.  A lot of classes help me with general contracting like contract law, OSHA, construction economics, structural analysis, construction documents, and more. I have learned a lot. I would have loved to learn to use Primavera 6. I heard about it in other classes. All of that would help me get a foreman or construction management position. I thought of new ways to get good prices for estimates the other day since a teacher said RS Means was not the best source for estimates. I just look them up and compare prices with local suppliers. It is just normal shopping. It isn't rocket science. They are never going to teach me how to do estimates in this major. I am wasting my time and money waiting on them. Something is crazy here. 

I did well on my marketing test today. I actually got a perfect score for the first time on a test. We have a big project due in December. I have to make a video and write a paper with a group. I hope I can get a small part to do. I do not have experience with making videos. I worked on my project for a human resource class. I have been running from one place to another all day. I am always running. I work on homework all day like it is a marathon. My life is very crazy. They had pepperoni pizza with chicken and banana peppers at the dining hall today. It was really good. I had four, small slices.

Construction Management or Project Management?

If I had known they made their construction management program about project management, I would not have majored in it. It looked like it was for construction management until this semester. It got way harder and became impossible unless you could major in design or something else. I don't like design. So, I wish I knew this earlier. I do not think I am smart enough for another degree. Just this one. You normally do not have to be. I do not plan to graduate now. I do not think I will pass. It is not my fault. I would pass if it was a construction management degree. I could be a general contractor. I think it is about project management at the end though. I did not know. I learned a lot about myself. I am glad for the experience. We will see what happens, but I do not plan to take anything again if I fail this semester. I normally would not fail. I cannot afford to take the whole year again and I should not have to. I do not know what I will do, but this is not the program for me if it rolls a master's degree I do not want into the bachelor's and gives me no credit for it (a master's degree). Construction management is just like general contracting. 

They normally build houses. I think I am smart enough to be a general contractor. They have made this program about project management. That involves design and different engineering. I wish they said that in the beginning. I think I am taking Revit classes contractors do not need or use. That is the architect's job. There are all these classes that are required that are not useful to a construction manager and teachers that were in the wrong program. I did not think surveying or Revit should be required. It sounded like an okay elective. There are so many required courses that are for an architectural, mechanical, or civil engineering program. If you are not licensed to draw, you shouldn't draw. Needing to get a stamp from the architect means they should draw it.

You did not learn to draw like they did. It is more efficient for them to draw it since they have that degree. I was looking for a broad overview of different parts of home construction I could use. I wanted to make sure I had general knowledge about everything I needed to know what I was doing and not get taken advantage of by subcontractors. I learned a lot of people do not know what they are doing in this industry in different classes. They did not do their job right and you need to fix their mistakes. There is a labor shortage in construction. It's too dangerous to not know what you are doing. Maybe, it is too dangerous for me anyway. Maybe it was not going to work out. I planned to build 2 log cabins to rent out and live in and be a landlord. It is dangerous working in construction. 

It was more normal to take carpentry and shop classes to gain experience, learning how to repair A/C and plumbing, and other things we did not do. They do not teach you how to be a construction manager. Like, that can only be learned in the field. I think it is crazy here. No one is going to teach you unless you are in the field, but they could just tell you in a book or course. 

There are so many DIY (do it yourself) books on the market that do that. I think about studying for my general contractor's license on my own, but I do not think it is worth it. This degree was supposed to prepare me to get me the same job before I got my license. Construction managers do the same things as general contractors. I enjoyed studying accounting, physics, microeconomics, contract law and improved in English. I got an OSHA 30 card and a CPR certification. I am glad I went to college. I am not missing out on what I never tried anymore. I think I've had enough. This program is not helping me grow intellectually. This is probably my last semester. 

We will see. I need to pass my classes like I normally would. Although I am older than most people in the program, I was good enough to get this far and do my internship. I really had an interest in construction and could see myself working in the field. It looks like it would not be because of this degree. It has turned out to be good for nothing. However, when I show them what I can do for their company, I could probably get a job without it if it is good for nothing. I need time to think about it. I have been so stressed out lately. I do not like working. I do not like school. So, I'll have to weigh my options. I am into safety and building codes.

I could make sure we pass inspection. I have a checklist I could take around to make sure it's ready for inspection and toolbox talks I could give about what's in the code for the work we're doing each day. It's all no problem for me. I did not think I was going to fail every construction class. I was concerned about physics. I am into contract law and would make sure I signed a good contract that was legally binding and that I got paid. Bottom line, if you know what you are doing you could always have a job building houses. People always need them. If you never learn your trade, then it is no wonder you go out of business. There is an easy way to do everything construction managers do. People with experience could show you what they learned over the years. I hoped that would do that in this program, but it has become about something else.

Otherwise, I am not going to take it all again because it is crazy here. I can't afford it and am tired of taking classes that do not help me get a job. I shouldn't be this concerned that I am going to fail. I have reached my limit. These classes are not as hard as physics, but I am more concerned about failing than I was when I was in that class. They could have made it easy. There is a simple way everything can be done by people with no degree. This program got way too hard for me this semester. I'm about to reach my limit.

I was looking up programs at my college. They have a design program, and they have a construction management one. It is not the same. They are different programs. Architects are not the same as construction managers. I am always hearing that designers and construction managers are the same at this school. I think it is crazy here. They do not work in the field. They do not build anything. They design. When you work on a team, you do not have to do everything. There are designers that do the drawings and different project members that construct the building. Everyone does their part. You do not have to do everything yourself. 

So Many Projects

I do not think I am going to pass all of my classes. I got such a low grade this week in one of my classes. I wonder if it is worth passing. I do not want to be a field engineer. I feel like these classes are designed for a different program sometimes. I have thought I could not use so many classes I had to take. I did not learn much from some classes I thought could have been useful. I do not think I am smart enough for another program, but you need to be to pass this one. It is like they rolled project management and a master's degree all into this bachelor's program. I did not want a master's degree. I do not know if it is really worth it. I am always doing homework and do not know much I could use in residential construction. I have so many projects. I do not think capstone is for a bachelor's degree. I really do not want to take capstone. I am not happy here. There have been so many classes like that already that I thought I could not use or did not need. 

I am watching Night Sky on Amazon Prime. I do not want to overdo it because I have been so stressed out this month with projects. I do not have an early morning class tomorrow. My Sargento Smokehouse cheddar cheese had a great smoky flavor. It surprised me. I didn't know it was that good. I learned about the Mozart Noir (Black Mozart), Joseph Bologne yesterday. He is in the movie Chevalier that is coming out. He was a violin prodigy and was alive when Mozart was. Did you know? Mozart signed his middle name Amadi instead of Amadeus? Sometimes I looked up signatures of famous people from history. They had fancy handwriting. He was Wolfgang Amadi Mozart. Is that Latin? I got to use my Spanish tonight with Night Fall. Some of the lines were in Spanish, and I could turn on English subtitles when they went too fast for me to keep up. I am so stressed out with school, I never watch TV in Spanish anymore. I do not think this degree is worth it. My teachers say people do not think it is worth much to have this degree. I have to start all over if I were to graduate to prove myself with experience and a license. 

My Weekend

I registered for classes Friday, but I am not sure if I am going to pass the classes I am currently in. I have so many projects. I was looking over my assignments. I will give them my best shot. That is all I can do. I am not in a lot of clubs. I do not participate a lot. I just do not have a lot of free time. It takes everything for me to keep up with my classes. I am not very good at school. So, I did not join many clubs. I try to pass my classes. I have to fix my paper to submit it in an AGC essay contest by next week. I added a logo. I get my review of my paper from the writing center tomorrow. I got so much done this weekend. I took a marketing quiz. I was hoping marketing would give me some investment advice like in microeconomics, but it is all about reading. I am terrible at reading. There are so many pages to remember in detail. 

I went grocery shopping Saturday. I picked up some things I needed. My mom's car that is almost 20 years old broke down. I am always afraid it is going to break down when she gives me a ride. She picked me up in my brother's car. I used to have a car. It was totaled though. I would like to be a foreman, safety engineer, or some other type of construction manager that works on the jobsite. I do not know. I would not be happy working in commercial construction. I want to work for a small or medium-sized company. Maybe after a few years, I can become an independent subcontractor. Construction is supposed to be so simple, you can do it yourself (DIY) like in a lot of popular TV shows and books. I do not consider myself to be the smartest student, but you did not have to be for construction. I was glad when I found that out. You do not have to get an advanced degree to have a career. 

Know the Cause

We have a hard project to do for my equipment management class. It is going to be a stressful month for me. I spend a lot of time at the library studying between classes during the week. I have a long walk back from the main campus after lunch. So, I just study in the library. I hesitate to apply for any jobs because I am not sure I am going to graduate. The classes are so hard. The readings are so long. Yet, there is not much I can use in general contracting. I think I need to get a general contractor's license to prove my competence. It is going to take time. One of my professors was saying a lot of professionals think our degree does not teach much. That was disappointing. I am mentally exhausted. I have so much homework. 

I am not that good at marketing. I took it to help me learn some tips I could use. It has a lot of long readings. I am not very good with them. The harder things get, the lower my grade goes. If there are a lot of breaks, like at the start of the semester, I may do better. I will be sure to never major in business. It is not my strong point. When I am studying, I think I only should get a B in marketing. 

My construction economics test was so hard on Monday. I thought I was going to fail it during the test. I was so lucky to get a 90. It was multiple choice, and I studied. But, some of her questions are so hard. I plan to take a finance class online next semester if nothing changes. I enjoy bookkeeping, and I think its a job a lot of people do not want to do. I am not the smartest student. I am right-brained, but I can figure out many ways to add, subtract, multiply, and divide. When I learn the right places to do these basic functions, I feel like I've got this. I am drowning in readings. I try not to take too many humanities classes so I do not have that much to read. There is so much detail to remember with readings. It is easier for me to figure out math problems or write. I do not have to remember that much. 

I just had to take a break today when I found out how hard the course project was for equipment management. It was overwhelming. It is like a capstone project. 

Something that crossed my mind that might be from God: look at the insects in the jungles. Leaf cutter ants farm fungus and eat it. Fungus is a toxic mold that could kill you. Yet, it protects these ants. They are not only disgusting to eat-- they are poisonous. Molds are carcinogens. I was watching Know the Cause with Dr. Doug Kaufman. He thinks a lot of cancers are caused by mold. You have to change your diet and take anti-fungal medications to see if that kills your cancer. He says this should be a cancer treatment. There is mold in so many preserved, boxed, unrefrigerated foods. You need to buy your food fresh and keep it refrigerated. Mold can be in such trace amounts that you did not see or taste it. I wish I could afford to change my diet. Until then, I eat good bacteria that eat my mold and cold viruses. Over time, I think I ate some mold without knowing it. Probiotic yogurt and kefir are super healthy. These bugs can kill anything like leaf cutter ants that eat fungus. Look at flies at the landfill: they are not going anywhere. They are immune to everything in the garbage. They must have a cure for all kinds of diseases. We should study flies and rats to see what they are doing right. I am fascinated by flies, They walk like little robots. They look like little aliens-- them and the ants. They do not look anything like humans or other mammals on this planet. They have too many legs and eyes. Maybe they have cures because they are alien. 

Pulling a Rabbit out of a Hat

Everyone is not a normal person like God. They are smart to come out of nothing like he did. At a certain point in all time (eternity) I was created by God because that made me more special since I am dark-skinned black. Some people appear out of nothing by themselves at a certain point. There is a window where they have an opportunity to exist. They are smart enough to exist from nothing. They are extremely smart to do this. I am not sure about more details than that. I do not know how they exist from nothing right now. 

You can compensate for being crazy. Something is at least a little crazy you are that smart from nothing. It is not normal to be that smart. Yet, you had to be to exist. It like doing a magic trick. You pull a rabbit out of a hat. It is extremely smart and is normally impossible. I do not think there are that many people who did it. It is probably rare. What do you think? I think the same people time travelled and lived all the lives on earth. I am only aware of a handful of people. All of them were famous since they are the same ones. Anyway, I compensate for being a little crazy. I always do three things crazy, but I can fix it if I was slow in my sleep. My soulmate only does one thing crazy. He is the most special. So, I am so lucky to be married to him. If you do more than three things, it may have been an issue when you were choosing good or evil (the answer is good) or when you turned black everywhere. 

You need to time travel to the point in time when you are smart enough to turn yourself the most special you will ever be. All of you needs to turn black like how you are smart enough to turn. Some people may have had a problem turning themselves white black. They are crazy and think the good makes them good, but it makes them special enough to turn black. It is very smart and isn't that good. So, people who seem to be good at thinking all of themselves is special exist better. They are normally extra good, white, and come many times. Other people who exist well are dark-skinned and black or they are extra good (which was the smartest genius). The Lord is Good. Normal is a black genius. All black people are normal and good (special). You need to turn good to turn black everywhere. 

The way I compensate for being a little crazy (like I drop things sometimes that I am carrying over eternity), and I burned myself curling my hair in the future. I am smarter than I normally would be to make sure I exist. I am still friends with everyone. I would normally be special friends with people who have a lot in common with me. Although there are people who are different, I am friends like they aren't. It's unusual. I am not good at (dance) balls and parties. I have friends there. It is good to go forever without friends. So, I am not that good about that in addition to being spiritual perfection. I am extra good like the Lord, and it makes me less crazy than almost everyone but him. If you are that smart, you can't be crazy. 

Spiritual Perfection is heaven on Earth. I go to so much of the best heaven. Those special moments when babies are born, blowing out candles on your birthday, and graduating are extra special when you are in touch with the heaven all around you. That's spiritual perfection. Sometimes I think angels are making it special on holidays. Christmas is special every year. I think there are other angels that make things special. That is what I am into as well. I am also smart about being a special friend. I can feel the spirit very physically. It is an atmosphere you can feel. It is warm and inviting. It is often an experience that isn't good. 

There are people who are unusually black. I cannot wait to hear what they did to fix themselves. They are more special than they would be if they were not crazy. They could marry almost everyone. They make sure they are married that way. They did not go that evil when they chose good or evil, and they turned black when they turned special enough to. It is natural for a heart or spirit to have no body. It is about what is inside there. They are smart about being happy and falling in love. It is smart for a body to be natural and not as smart as their mind. It's smart for a mind to not be as natural as a body. Everyone is special. Every part of them is there for a reason. The Lord is good because the main part of him is a heart that has no body.

The Windsors

It is special to be from England if you are from another time and not the most physical part of yourself. They had special knights, kings, and castles in the Middle Ages. They were special with writers like Shakespeare and during Elizabeth's Age. Then, they were the number one navy in the world at the time of the American Revolution and the most prosperous nation until the 1800s when America replaced them. The sun never set on the British Empire. They are very traditional and have the same family on the throne that they had in medieval times. The Windsors go way back. 

Over the Top Special

Something I found out about Shanice that was probably a highlight for her life: she is not white. All of her white is Indian, and when she turns black she has beautiful brown skin where she was white. The darkest place you come white may be how dark all of you white is. I hear she was dark-skinned like Lauryn. I am not totally sure, but a lot of people think they are turning black with color if they could get a tan. She was so special light-skinned. She was from France and is in Christine and the Queens. She was not that good inside and did not come many times. She was black enough to marry some of the blackest people. However, something was not encouraging. She did not want to exist. I heard she thought she was evil, but no one really is. She found out she was mostly good living forever unless she was blacker. 

I think I found another couple that exists besides me. They look really good on television. I am not going to say their names. However, I had not thought about it for a while until today. I think I will have friends in the future when I go to Heaven. 

Do you know how black it is to be from ancient Egypt? They are so black when they turn black. They can dance like in "Do You Remember the Time?" video from the 90s. They break dance as they exist from nothing. Everyone is so over the top special. There is a lot to want to live for. 

Surviving the Weekend

I had the most stressful weekend. I had to study for a test today, write a paper, and work on a Primavera 6 assignment. I also had to take a marketing test on Friday. I had so much homework. Somehow, I got through it. I was surprised that the test today was not as hard as I thought it was going to be. I am not failing the class yet. So, I thank God. 

I have married my soulmate as Justin Bieber. I think Hailey is the same person I am married to other places. I have not been Justin Bieber yet. I have cool videos filmed in France. My soulmate was in Les Miserables and is Gerard Depardieu. I am married to Will Smith as Jada Pinkett. I think I am Jada Pinkett where I am Leo Gura on Actualized.org. I show how I am black like Will Smith in my videos. I used to have these videos of me making different expressions. My face looks blacker when I make expressions. 

Have you seen Madonna's Frozen remix? The music: she has given medieval music a rap beat. It has traditional singing in it like something medieval. I follow myself on YouTube. I have these channels where I am going to Ivy League schools in the future. I go to Harvard, Yale, Brown, and Cornell. I am not famous. I want to avoid repeating what I have done already. I have already done a lot of travelling. I have already went to Turkey and will remember when I wake up. 

I do not know how many times I come, but one part of me could have time travelled to the same year in the past, present, and future. It looks like there are different people. When I get married, I hear it will be in Egypt. I have seen this bronze, beaded wig that I get to wear for my wedding. It will be like the wig in the Cranberries' "Zombie." She has a metal wig on. I have a brown one that matches my skin. I am having an African wedding physically. In my sleep, I hear my soulmate is so special. I think he was Leonardo Da Vinci and Rameses II. I cannot wait to find out for sure.

I used to think there were fallen angels and evil people who should not be allowed to go to Heaven after doing terrible things. However, I am not sure if they are crazy now. They always looked crazy being so extreme to go to hell and extremely evil (bad person). In order to want to be evil, you have to be willing to go to hell. To be willing means you want to go to hell. Nobody wants to go to hell. I am not sure if they were crazy in their sleep. I do not think they would be evil. God would send you to hell if you decided to be evil forever. 

I was checking out my album Tickets to my Downfall. It sounds like an ancient angel. I am good enough I could have had a downfall like Lucifer. Also, I show in "Forget me Too" how I look like an ancient Greek piece of art (sculpture). It is a stretch. My hair style, the circles under my eyes. It looks like they did in ancient times. I get really metaphysical and spiritual in my interview on Kevan Kenney's channel from 2 months ago. I put ancient sculptures in my videos as Natalie La Rose ("Somebody") and Justin Bieber ("Company"). I think Anderson Cooper was from the 1950s too. He is always wearing a suit like the people on CNN. That is all they used to wear back then. I imagine he has so many suits in his closet. Or, if he wears the same tie and suit but always wears it it looks like you are from another decade. People who never learn to use a cell phone and need a jitterbug are often from the 50s or before. They were black with their eyes. Devices strain your eyes. A lot of people from the 1920s through the 1960s still live in the Big Apple. They have Broadway and lots of money. You can dress like you did in the 1950s if you have a lot of money. They have Radio City Music Hall and all these places that were around decades ago. Anderson Cooper is from NY. He does New Years specials there every year. I watch him because I think he is my soulmate. I think was Grace Kelly, the lead in Oklahoma, and girl in Singing in the Rain. 

I am good at thinking all of me is special the whole time. My spirit is special. It helps me exist well. I am not ancient as Justin. I died in the 1950s. I wear 50s-style (Calvin Klein) underwear in "Company" and check that is going to look special. I think I am black there. I was watching "Yummy." I do not act that black if I am always white there. I am not Katie Couric although she was diagnosed with breast cancer. Other ways I came: Deborah Cox, Priscilla Shirer, and Nicole C. Mullen. I came a different way, but had cancer as Lisa Bevere. I have Christian books there. I am married to Bear Grylls. I suspect I was Liesel in the little princess movie in the 1990s. I am going to be light-skinned there. I am going to be dark-skinned here.  

A Goldilocks Zone

How smart everyone is can be described with a number. There are people with higher numbers that are smarter and people with lower numbers that are less smart. Everyone is really smart though. I did not decide how smart I am. That is what exists out of nothing for me. I am dark-skinned being that smart when I come physically. The most good part of me is light-skinned black. I was not that light-skinned I thought I was white for a while. To be dark-skinned there is a goldilocks zone for how good you are inside and how natural you are physically. You need to be natural and good inside. Too natural or too good is light-skinned black. There were three other genius close to me that were dark-skinned. There are geniuses more good than me that were white for a while. You need to be special and smart to be black. You come as the most special way you can come for how smart you are. You cannot be a genius that someone else already is. Everyone does something different better than everyone else. I think the name of my genius is spiritual perfection. Smart is a black genius that is smart about being black everywhere. I am good inside. I am not that crazy because being good inside makes me really smart. I do three things that are a little crazy always, but it will not be a problem for me and my soulmate. I think I am lucky. 

I am not sure, but I am supposed to talk about being lucky. There are people who think they do not exist. I am not sure if they decided they do not want to but could have. That makes more sense to me. I heard all these stories. Something is crazy when some people turn more special and black. They just think it makes them good and stay white. It does not exist to stay white. It does not make sense. You are smart enough to turn black and you are not that good. I am not sure about it. 

It is special to come and live a life conscious in just one place and to not be that smart like a normal person. I am a spirit where I am extra good. It depends on how smart and natural I am. Sometimes I am functioning as a body and am mostly natural. Other places I am functioning as a mind. It depends on what I am special doing. I could be a spirit, mind, or body. Where I am a spirit with a body, I have a spirit on the inside of me instead of a mind. My body has a mind on the inside. That is what I think.

I have a spiritual body. I think I was Gabriel as Machine Gun Kelly. I have not been Machine Gun Kelly yet. I will always have a physical body there though I am a spirit. All the angels are spiritual and natural. They are not that good inside (natural spirits). You could turn black if you are special and natural. I have a really black voice. I was nerdy. I have a YouTube channel called Actualized.org. What I am saying unconscious there was that my last life was as a friar in the 1400's and I think I am married to Will Smith. I make the backdrop look special like an ancient angel. Because of this part of me, I am catholic in addition to being Christian. I believe Catholics are Christian. I have all these philosophies. I made videos to help myself. They talk about being confident. I am not really as good as I think. I believe anything that is right though I am an angel. I believe in the part of New Age that is right. A small part of it is right. I was that nerdy, but I turn really black in the future. 

It is not that scary being around a dead body if you understand why it looks that way. It is crazy giving off and odor and decaying. It is crazy looking creepy. You go into a deep sleep if you die. Everyone is smart enough to eventually fix their problems. They are here because they want to be right now. It must be natural or smart to look like they do for a while. A normal person does not figure out a cure for their problems and they do not live forever. I watched a movie a long time ago that made such an impression on me. I wonder if it is based on a true story: The Lovely Bones. This girl is not me if it is real. A girl died and continued living on after she died. She was killed by a pedophile. You can go into shock and not feel it that much when you are injured. There are smart things you can do and many people do in accidents to help themselves. You could die and not realize you died. They think they are still alive. Everything looks the same where they woke up after their body died. There are movies that I think are so smart they are based on a true story (they are too special and are a genius). I imagine. What if it was real? Passengers with Anne Hathaway is a good movie. It makes me wonder. 

Mrs. Claus and Other Stories

I think Jen Psaki, the former press secretary for Biden, is Monique Walker and Kiesza. She has red hair like Kiesza. She is a genius and knows stuff that is normally deeply unconscious. When I watch videos, they will start talking unconscious. She makes herself light up like she knows something exciting. Sometimes I can hear them say something. Though she is a tomboy that comes as a guy, she thinks she is a woman there. The way she is coming is a heavy playboy bunny, that was typical for everyone white or light-skinned. They are special enough to turn large and black. If you not special, you need to be more good. And being good inside, where your heart is, that was more special and smart. So, where I am natural, I am not that big. If you are not being good you are special on the inside, it makes you lighter-skinned so you can still be special and black. I am dark-skinned, but I am young and not that big. Jen Psaki is going to turn into a woman where she is Peyton Manning and Brett LaFarve. I think she is also Sheryl Crow. 

Lauryn is also Lisa on the Fresh Prince of Bel Air and Tony Braxton. She comes just so black. What I found out that was special about her was that where she is the most good, she is only from the 1970s. She was Debra Laws. That is very unusual. Normally, you are not that modern there. It is special in the 1800s. There is a smart reason why people live there or they could live in a more modern time. Everyone that lives there has to think they are special and not good there.

I found out I am Michelle Pfeiffer, Cameron Diaz, Sigourney Weaver, Leslie Mann, Olivia Newton-John, and Farrah Faucett. I think my soulmate is Paul Rudd. That was so funny in the 'I Could Never be Your Woman" movie when he puts his picture on my screensaver as Michelle Pfeiffer. His picture is in my wallet. He is like that in real life. I am excited unconscious. I look like I am in the Rapture when I live some of those lives. I hope the Rapture is soon. I ask what does that mean and I can't hear my answer. I just did not know my name and am glad I know more now. I was also Cate Blanchett, Kelly Martin (The Face on the Milk Carton), Mrs. Duggar, Grandma Moses, and in Crocodile Dundee. I am getting closer to figuring this out. I think that is me. I had a double mastectomy as Joanna Kerns. I think I normally die of breast cancer where I am that light-skinned. So, I am watching to see if I have cancer as Valerie Plame. 

I am not the real Pippy Longstocking or Anne of Green Gables. I am not sure who Anne of Green is. I was not Alicia Keys, Mya, Raven, Shanice ("I Love Your Smile" 90s song), Anne Hathaway, Lady Gaga, Sandra Bullock, Cindy Crawford, Julia Roberts, or Gloria Estefan. I think they are all Shanice. Where I am a black woman (LaToya), I come eight times that way. I was not famous that many times to be good and special I am dark-skinned and black. I have seen myself when I am not famous only twice. I come one time as Jasmine. I am more natural and so black. I have more weight as LaToya. I come one time as a black guy (Harlem Fetty). I come ten times black, each time I have a mind and a body that is black. It is not that good black to come only that many times that way. A blacker way to come is for all of you to be a black woman. 

I have dreams from where I am Grandma Moses. Aileen. I say I am going to be Mrs. Claus. I married Santa Claus in the future. I wanted to be good sharpshooter like Annie Oakley. I am from the real 1800s, western frontier, land of opportunity. Larger than life. I have a thick southern accent. I was granny in the Beverly Hillbillies. Notice, my clothes look funny like they are not from the 60s. When I am not good I am Grandma Moses, I find chicken and dumplins at the supermarket that I normally can't find. I cook my food from scratch over a wood burning stove. My husband made our house with his own two hands. I sit in my rocking chair on the porch rockin' real easy like. I have smart cooking ideas sometimes I think are from there. I make sparkling beverages with Sprite and orange juice. And, I'm going to 1849 when I leave here. There's gold in them thar hills. I'll be coming round the mountain when I come riding six white horses. Ain't never seen nothin like it. Larger than life. The view of canyons in the Wild West at sunset. They are beautiful. 

When I go to Heaven as Ruby (Ruby Bridges from Brown vs. Board of Education), I am going to see the North Pole. I am black little girl named Ruby close to where I am here. I live in the eternal 1950s. I looked like myself when I was five. I have pictures of myself and where I was Keke Palmer. I look so similar to Ruby Bridges. I was also in Annie (2014). I am very mature where I am a child. I am older mentally. It is smart to come as a child. 

I think Orthodox Jews that dress in traditional clothes look like they did in the 1800's. They did not change after Abe Lincoln was President. They still know Hebrew? It is such an ancient language. It looks like they time traveled and are not from this time. They may be ancient Hebrew to still know such an old language. The languages of Babylon and Philistine are forgotten. Maybe they saw Moses cross the Red Sea? Who knows. These people that are so traditional and go to war over religion look ancient. Look at Saudi Arabians. They still dress so traditional like they did in ancient times. They look like they time traveled. Maybe they are ancient. They did not move to America like everyone more modern. It is easy for their soulmate to find them if they have come again. They still dress like they did in their first life and live in the same country. They still have a queen in England? They look like they time travel. 

I think I am cheesy since I got older where I was light-skinned/white. I tell myself I am cheesy. I look crazy as Joanna Kerns. I was so excited about being in the Rapture. I look special and light-skinned in the Parent Trap with Dennis Quaid. I play their mother. I say he is such a special husband and father. I am so lucky. I have a house like the one in the movie in the future. I wear special white jackets clothes over my white dresses. My house looks like a dream house. It has a spiral staircase. In a cheesy voice: I married Dennis Quaid! 

Everybody Falls in Love

Falling in love is a really smart genius. You may have taken a year to think about it, but when you realize you are in love it happens in a moment. It like like in the movie "When Harry Met Sally." He was not sure he was in love with Sally for most of the movie although it made a lot of sense. When he realized it, it ran to tell her he felt differently. It is like something dawned on him. My spirit lets me know I am happily married to my soulmate. I was or will be Behati Prinsloo. That is my spirit there, and I have married Adam Levine. I am so happy there. I am special black somewhere else and needed to be from Namibia. So, I think that is so special. We are living in Los Angeles. I am always smiling so much around him. He makes me extremely happy. My soulmate is so smart. He went to several ivy league schools (like as John Legend). The main part of him is that black: how he is as TI, the rapper. I thought it was good I was light-skinned at first, but it is special black to come many colors black. I am not sure it is the blackest, but it is not going to be that good. I come light- and dark-skinned. I am not Diane Keaton until the future. I have already been Valerie Plame, Judith Light from "Who's the Boss?" and Johanna Kerns from "Growing Pains." I am so excited in the 1980s as Joanna Kerns. I talk about being in the Rapture. We will see. I do not know when I am in the Rapture. I dream about time travelling to the Rapture like I heard when it was in my sleep. When I get close, I time travel to a certain sidewalk in my dreams. I am still at ECU or I go there again. I time travel to a certain spot and disappear. So, I have my back up plan in case I do not die again. Maybe I am in the Rapture. I am ready to go. I look just like the part of my soulmate I am going to live with except I am dark-skinned. He is Steven Tyler from Aerosmith. He looks like he did in 1973. I am going to Christmas Day in the future. I cannot wait to wake up. Maybe other couples have similar plans. I have not found out yet. I am still being good like a normal person here. It is special to come one time and live like you are not that smart.

I did not cheat on my soulmate as Jada Pinkett. He is also August Alsina. I am not good with this in my sleep. I have left my soulmate one place and married him again somewhere else. I did this as Nicole Kidman. My soulmate is Tom Cruise, Bruce Willis, and Keith Urban. I got the hook up there where I'm a spirit. I think I was married to Bruce Willis as Meg Ryan. I look like myself spiritual: I have blond hair and am petite before I turn special and wake up where I am Meg Ryan, Nicole Kidman, and Avril Lavigne. I have found out more people I am not. I am not Beyonce, Lauryn Hill, Missy Elliot, Ellen Degeneres, Fergie, Pink, Kelly Clarkson and many more people. I think they are the same person though. Her name is Lauryn. She is blacker than me. She is making things black that are normally white like the sound of a whistle in "Upgrade U." I am not Brandy, Mary J. Blige, or Monica. I think these are different people. Brandy's eyes are too far apart to be me (so she can have more personality). She looks significantly different, and I can rule her out. I am not a lot of people. 

My song "What the Hell" that I sung as Avril Lavigne. It has an arpeggio in it like how they sang in the 1700s. I have a small tiara in my hair that on the side in "Smile." Nobody is wearing tiaras now. I am dressed up like I'm from the 1700s in "Love Story" as Taylor Swift. I do not know what time I am from for sure there. I have a pastel colored phone with a 50s style for going conscious. I live 1700s in the future. There is air conditioning and other modern conveniences. I am turning more special. I found out I was more people that was smarter to know this year. I found out Kieza is Monique Walker from Hezekiah Walker's Love Fellowship Choir. She is going to be that black. She lead the song "Second Chance." She is so special like a playboy bunny with weight and so black. She is really smart. She voice sounds black in "Hideaway." I had to listen closely and think about it, but it is a black voice. She has hip hop dancing in her video. She was in En Vogue in the 1990s. She is the tallest one in "Hold on to your Love." I am not in that group. I am always checking so I do not have a crush on myself. She is fair-skinned with red hair.

I know something cool where I was in "Growing Pains" (Joanna Kerns). I wish I was conscious. My soulmate is Tony Danza. I got to work with him. I am so happily married to Michael J. Fox although he has Parkinson's. We have been married over 20 years. In the future, I marry Conan O'Brien. I am Liza O'Brien. Conan is so funny. I look crazy now as Jada Pinkett, but I am married to my soulmate there (Will Smith). I have not been Jada yet. That is me after I am Jasmine. I do not think I have married my soulmate where I am natural and black yet. I was special in the 1990s. That is how I am going to always look. It was smart to look crazy and not good sometimes. I am unwilling. I thought a lot of people were evil as Avril Lavigne. I have not been Diane Keaton yet. I think that is me way in the future. I have married Steve Martin where I live in the future. I think I am awake and just became conscious in Home Alone. I am Kevin's mother and his father is my soulmate in the movie. I do not know how many times I come. I could have come many times with one part of myself. 

A Spirit is a Heart

My spirit is my heart. I am special about falling in love and knew who my soulmate was before the rest of myself. I am deeply natural--I came physical and turned into a spirit. I am always going to live in the physical dimension. I live in Heaven on Earth like in the Bible. The New Jerusalem is coming down to Earth. I am a natural person. I am Keke Wyatt  (to see what I look like now) and I was Etta James to be special and old-fashioned. I come all kinds of special ways. I am 37 and will always look that age. It is special black to be mature in your late 30s. It is natural with my husband though I am a spirit. All of me is a genius. It is natural to be that smart. You are smart enough to make yourself extra natural. I come as Taylor Swift in the future. I haven't been Taylor yet. My voice is so deep and rich like I am turning black. I try to understand it: Why does my spirit have such a deep voice? I see myself gaining weight as Natalie Grant. I am acting really black there too for a spirit. It is being good to gain weight. So, you can still be a black spirit with weight. I need to be good where I am physical. I am not that old always and I am not that big. 

I think white people are light-skinned and have good hair. They come the same colors as black people do. You can tell they are black when they get it wet. It looks like they put grease in it. Their hair is normally not that straight. It has a little wave like light-skinned black hair. They should not have any trouble turning that black. 

I am not Judith Light. I come more than one time. Judith Light was never me where I am Jasmine. I am the same person and look similar whether I am light- or dark-skinned. In case this blog is too smart, I have not proven a lot of my claims. I look more like CeCe Winans in the O'Landa Drapers. 

It is important to consider how you come before getting married so you don't marry yourself. I think it is safe for me to stay single. I am not sure about the ways I come.